I feel so grateful to be holding my head up and writing this blog today. For the past four days that hasn’t been the case. I’ve spent the weekend in and out of the ER, with doctors telling me they had no diagnosis. Finally, I’m on the right path to wellness.
I’m making a list of things to be grateful for, despite what’s happened to me in the past week.
My life just took a giant leap into the next healing phase. I don’t know whether to fall asleep from exhaustion or jump and shout from relief.
My “pop” passed away in February. It has been a difficult, exhausting, unbelievable, emotional, confusing, sad, happy, and overwhelming five months. I have celebrated his “Homecoming” to Jesus. I have cried myself to sleep wanting him to come home. I’ve asked why many times. I have been in denial. I’ve even refused to talk about it.
This is a story from From Robert J. Morgan in On This Day.
Missionaries Dick and Margaret Hillis found themselves caught in China during the Japanese invasion. The couple lived with their two children in the inland town of Shenkiu. The village was tense with fear; every day brought terrifying reports of the Japanese advance. At the worst possible time, Dick developed appendicitis, and he knew his life depended on making the long journey by ricksha to the hospital. On January 15, 1941, with deep foreboding, Margaret watched him leave.
(more…)In Kay Arthur’s Lord Teach Me to Pray, she discusses several times throughout the study a man named George Mueller. I’m a fan of history, so I decided to look his name up. He’s definitely a man worth reading about. In 1836 Mueller and his wife started an orphanage. By the end of Meuller’s life he raised over 10,000 orphans. As if that’s not enough to be impressed with, it’s how he provided for those orphans that amazed me.
(more…)I woke up this morning determined to spend time with Jesus. I’m sorry to say that it has been far too long since I have opened my Bible and spent time in God’s Word. These past few days have been a struggle for me. I didn’t keep my focus on Him, and because of that I made poor choices. Yesterday I walked around with guilt, anger, and shame for the things I allowed myself to do. I cried out to God many times. Why did I have to wait for something to go wrong to cry out to God? Because I’m human.
(more…)It’s only Thursday, but it’s been an incredible week! I was going through a box of pictures today that took me down memory lane; they weren’t necessarily all good memories either. I laughed, cried, and shook my head in disbelief at some of the images I was reminded of.
I flipped through pictures of my Senior high school trip – we thought we were invincible. I smiled at the poses and the thought of sneaking drinks into our room as underage risk takers. Then I was reminded of the irresponsible last night I spent on that trip. I don’t have memories of it; just friends that tell me about it.
I found pictures of my dad and grandpa. My dad had a beer in his hand and a cigarette in his mouth. I shed some tears, but soon reminded myself that he is with our Heavenly Father. He’ll never struggle with wanting a drink again. I miss him dearly, but I’m so grateful that he no longer suffers.
Pictures of my 21st birthday party reminded me once again how crazy I was. I had a drink in my hand and the language of a sailor. It wasn’t my proudest moment.
Then I ran across the inspiring pictures of our trip to Bayou La Batre, Alabama. There were lives changed in those pictures. Homeless people were fed, strangers came to know Jesus, and God continuously showed his grace in each shot. That was the beginning of the end of my old self.
My dear Caleb reminded me once again just how cute he is. Easter pictures, birthday parties, and carnivals had me grinning from ear to ear. If only I could have a few of those moments with him back to make sure he knew just how much I loved him.
I was sitting with a friend today talking about things of my past. As I looked in the mirror, I let my mind wander off to those days. I shook my head in shame, thinking of the person I used to be. My shame started to run away with me, until I felt God’s whisper on my heart. I no longer have to feel shame for the things of my past. Why? Because there is no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.
I look at myself today and the person I once was. Wow! What a transformation. This week I have focused on seeing God’s greatness in me, and I have definitely allowed myself to see it. I have woke up every day this week and repeated the words of Joyce Meyer, “Something good is going to happen to me today.” Something good has definitely happened.
I can’t wait to see what Friday brings. I have been set free from all the condemnation in my life. It seems like only yesterday when I lived for the world, but today I live for Jesus. Praise Him! I have confessed my sins. I have been purified from ALL unrighteousness. I have been forgiven.
Thank you Jesus!