Over this last month God has done some GINORMOUS things in my life, including the restoration of a relationship I had never planned to restore. Honestly, He’s had me on super mode lately, and I haven’t gotten the time to sit down and process. So I thought, why not process with you? Tune in for the life-changing story of restoration with my step-mom, Julie.
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photo credit: flickr (creative commons)
For years I hated her. I couldn’t pin point an exact reason – there were several I guess. But I hated her. I fed that hate and a bitter root grew inside of me.
She had been with my dad for most of my life. The last time I saw her was 13 years ago as my dad lay in the hospital bed after a drunk driving accident. I was done with him. I decided to be done with her too. I chose to dwell on all the bad memories we had together and toss the good ones aside. She was the bad guy and it would stay that way. Afterall, step-moms are supposed to be the evil one anyway right?
A year ago, however, God said, “no more.” He was trying to teach me about love. I realized I couldn’t love with bitterness in my heart. I made the decision to forgive her. I made the decision to rip that bitterness up by its roots and toss it as far as I could. It was killing me. If I was going to die it wouldn’t be from hate. Besides, I could forgive her and never have to talk with her. Then…
A month ago God did the BIG move. It was time to get in touch with her. I prayed about it. Then I waited. Then I prayed again just to make sure. Then I waited. Then I prayed again. Finally, I picked up the danged phone. I got the hint that God wasn’t going to change His mind.
I dialed her number having no idea what to expect. What do you say after 13 years?
“You have reached a number that is not accepting calls.”
I finally breathed and thought to myself, Well I tried. I was obedient. All was well.
But the feeling wouldn’t go away. I knew deep inside that wasn’t the end of it. Fast forward to three weeks ago. He said it was time to call her again. So, I dialed the number again, held my breath and waited. This time it said the phone wasn’t working. Another sigh of relief.
I imagined myself talking with her. What would I say? What would she say? It dawned on me at that moment that I had only been thinking about my side of the situation. What about hers? Perhaps she didn’t even want to talk to me. Duh! Fear overwhelmed me as I thought, What if she doesn’t want to talk to me? Of course she does. Why wouldn’t she want to talk to me? But what if she doesn’t? It doesn’t matter anyway Sundi Jo. You can’t get a hold of her. It was calm again…
I started to feel confused, as I thought God wanted me to talk to her. I was being obedient to His will and it wasn’t working out. It didn’t make sense to me. Then on a Saturday afternoon, sitting on the couch of a friends house enjoying some peace and quiet while she was out of town, He let me know again it was time. I remembered my mom suggesting looking up her dad’s phone number on White Pages.
A few seconds later, there it was. The phone number I knew was going to lead me to her was staring me in the face. This was it. It was really going to happen. The butterflies in my gut danced around letting me know.
I picked up the phone and said, “God, you’ve got to speak through me. I have no idea what to say.” I looked at Skeeter the dog, got the go ahead from her kisses, and dialed the number. Don’t answer. Don’t answer. Don’t answer. I’m not ready. Don’t answer. Don’t answer. Don’t answer. “Hello.” To be continued…
If you’re just starting, you can view the rest of the series here: She Really Answered – Part Two of the Restoration Series Finally We Meet – Part Three of the Restoration Series
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Do you ever get a piece of truth to chew on that you’ve known in the back of your mind would eventually come out? What do you do with that piece of truth?
This isn’t a how to blog post to let you know how you should handle this situation. This is actually me writing it out, trying to figure out what to do with it myself.
Over the last two weeks God has moved at a speed in my life I can barely keep up with. As soon as I can slow down enough to write about it all, I’ll be sharing with you. But last week he delivered a piece of truth to me through another person that I DID NOT want to hear.
I have realized over the last few days that I have been living in denial, and to be honest, it sucks. Part of me wants to go back to the denial; the other part wants to process and move forward. I am realizing that I have been putting this ideal image in my head of a situation that wasn’t ideal at all. God bursted that bubble and I don’t really like it.
Does that mean I’m losing trust in Him? Absolutely not. Does that mean I am venting to Him a lot? Absolutely.
This post is short as I am actually still in the beginning of the proecessing stage. Thanks for the ear. How do you chew on a nugget of truth that doesn’t taste so good? Comment below…
If you’re reading this, I’m either packing, or heading to St. Louis for the 2011 Love Life Women’s Conference, hosted by Joyce Meyer. Ok.. if you’re reading this earlier than 9 am, I’m most likely still snoring.
I’m sure I’ll be blogging about my amazing experience at this year’s conference, but I wanted to tell you something cool first.
I hadn’t planned to make it this year. I was privileged to attend last year with one of my best friends, Jammie, but this year wasn’t going to allow either one of us to attend financially. We were okay with that. Then…
Jammie calls me to say she received two tickets in the mail. She has no idea still where they came from or who sent them. My guess?
God stuck them in an envelope, licked it (because the sticky stuff doesn’t gross him out like it does me), and dropped them in the mail. Even cooler.. maybe He just had an angel swing by the mailbox and toss them in.
I love blessings like this. You don’t expect them.
We wanted to go, but we were both okay with the fact that it wouldn’t happen this year. God thought otherwise. Have I mentioned how cool He is?
I can’t wait to fill you in on the details of this amazing conference. I will be blessed with not only the teachings of Joyce Meyer, but Nancy Alcorn, the director of Mercy Ministries, and John and Stasi Eldredge will be there. They are the authors of one of my favorite, life transforming books, Captivating.
I will be standing among over 20,000 women worshiping God, digging deeper into the teachings of restoration.
I’m so excited! What unexpected blessings have you received lately? Comment below…
This past weekend was monumental for many reasons. I’m sure I’ll be blogging about all the things to come in the future.
I was reminded again of the transformation God does when we allow Him to.
Saturday I attended my ten year class reunion. I was a little bit nervous, but more excited than anything. I was going to see people I hadn’t seen in a while. Not only had I changed physically, but I was a different person all around.
I stayed with some friends I had graduated with. They were high school sweethearts and they now have three sons. As I watched their entertaining, chaotic family, I couldn’t help but smile. They were living life, and living it to the fullest. I was inspired. Then the coolest thing happened…
Sunday morning we all climbed in the Suburban to head to church. We jammed out to worship songs on our way. The last time I was in a car with the happily married couple, things were very different. I don’t think any of us were sober. We partied like rock stars when we were younger.
I sat in church and the guy I partied with in high school, who is now a proud father of three and an amazingly Godly husband, was serving me communion. It was really hard for me to hold back the tears. We all sat in that church worshiping God together. I looked at his wife in amazement at just how far the three of us had come.
I have always struggled with the fear that my past would bite me in the butt. But it doesn’t have to if I don’t allow it to. I can use it to be reminded of God’s grace and mercy for me. For my friends. They haven’t allowed their past to determine their future and I’m so blessed to be a part of their lives.
I am so blessed to call them not only friends, but my brother and sister in Christ. What has God changed in you? I would love for you to share. Comment below…
I went to the license bureau last week to renew my driver’s license. (Shh… don’t tell anyone they were expired and I was three days late.)
I was never so excited to walk in and write a check to get my new license. There wasn’t an ounce of dread on my face. Actually, people probably wondered why I couldn’t wipe the smile off my face. Here’s why…
This was me the last time I got my license.
Embarassing right? It was then. I would have been mortified to show anyone that license.
Fast forward to last week. After I did my eye exam and got all the street signs correct (okay, I missed the median sign), the attendant asked my height and my weight. I proudly told him, grinning from ear to ear, my weight. He laughed and congratulated me on my 45 pound weight loss.
That’s when I corrected him and said, “Actually, I lied on my license. I was 100 pounds heavier. I’ve actually lost 145 pounds.”
After he wiped the initial shock off his face, I said, “that’s why you should never lie on your driver’s license.”
Pretty much every woman I know doesn’t like to show off their license. They either hate their picture, or they don’t want their friends to know their weight. I used to be like that. Guess what?
Not anymore! I’ll show it to anyone who wants to see it, because it’s another testimony of the power of God. It’s another opportunity to let others know that God can change anyone. What is one thing He has done in you that you’re thanking Him for today? Comment below…
My pastor spoke those words in a sermon several weeks ago, but I haven’t been able to forget about them. Good huh? That’s supposed to be the point of a sermon – that we walk away remembering.
Well, not only did I remember his words, God recently put me to the test. He’s good like that.
I started college again a few weeks ago and I’m trying to get back into the routine. Algebra is my weakest link. Ask me to write a paper and I can do that. Ask me to factor a Polynomial and I become cross-eyed.
I can be a pretty outgoing person. I like to meet new people. I enjoy new conversations. But… not when I’m sitting in my Algebra class. I want my 100% focus on the teacher and the lesson. I don’t have time to spare. Let me rephrase that. I don’t have the extra brain power to spare. The last thing on my mind is making new friends.
Last week I walked in and smiled at the girl sitting next to me. I got my books out, sat my bottled water on the desk, got my pencil out and waited. I was trying me best to keep math the only thing on my mind. Then, I felt God nudging me to tell her hello. So I did. I quickly looked at her, smiled, again, and said “hello.” She said it back and I was one. I did my part. Could we please get to Algebra now?
Two days later it was time for class again. I walked in with the same routine. There she was. I smiled and went about my business. God nudged me again to tell her hello. So I did. But then He prompted me to ask her how she was. He was taking this conversation thing too far.
I avoided Him. Ask her how she’s doing?
Again, I avoided.
Then He spoke clear as day to me as the words of my pastor rang in my ear. Delayed Obedience is Disobedience….
Ouch.
At that point Algebra didn’t matter anymore. I was convicted of putting material things before relationships. I closed my book and began to have a conversation with her. We talked a bit and I said, “I’m sorry. I didn’t get your name.” We visited a little longer before class started. Thirty minutes later I was explaining a question on an assignment to her.
I’m not sure what God has in store, but I am now eager to find out. Perhaps I’m going to start by remembering her name. Have I mentioned that’s a weakness too? What are you putting off until tomorrow that needs to be done today?
