by | Life Application
Marriage is easy. It’s a piece of cake, right? You meet someone, say “I do,” fly to Maui for the next seven days, then spend the rest of your life dancing in the living room together. I’ve watched my friends and now know everything there is to know about marriage. I’m ready to teach a seminar on how to be married.
I’m totally kidding. Though I have learned things I don’t want to do in my marriage, I haven’t a clue what it’s really like. But the subject line did catch your attention, right?
I may not be an expert at being a wife, but I am an expert on failure.
I know a lot about it. Our paths have crossed many times throughout my lifetime and I’m sure we’ll meet again.
Prior to 2009 failure and I were pretty intimate. We never flew to Maui, but we certainly danced in the living room together time and time again. I was always failing at something, especially follow through.
- I wouldn’t follow through with a job because my boss didn’t see things my way
- I would start to write a book and quit, simply because the motivation wasn’t there
- 10 pounds lost would turn into 20 pounds gained, only to fail at losing it again
- I refused to let relationships go deep because I didn’t want people to know me; the real, shameful me that lurked behind a 330 pound frame
That’s just a brief list.
As God shifted my heart, though, in 2010 I followed through for the first time in my life. I completed a 12-month discipleship program, lost 145 lbs., and finished a 5K race, all in the same year. I failed a lot to get there, but I had finally finished something.
We can’t succeed in our future until we let go of our past.
Today, I still fail, but it’s a different kind of failure. It’s the kind of failure that causes me to step out of my comfort zone and pursue something bigger than me. I fail at writing a good blog post. I fail at giving someone encouraging words. I fail at eating that salad versus the greasy pizza that calls my name.
But guess what?
I pick myself up and keep going. I write a different blog post. I apologize to my friend and speak life over her. I go for a walk outside and the next meal I’m back on track.
Failure shapes us. It makes us dependent on God. It causes us to try again. It provides us the opportunity for second chances, if we’re willing to take them.
We can’t conquer failure if we don’t follow through. We can’t fail at something mediocre to succeed at something great if we don’t try. It’s up to us, really. Failure shapes us, regardless of how we deal with it.
The question to ask yourself: How do I want failure to shape me?
by | Life Application
Since publishing my first book, Dear Dad, I’ve had many people tell me they want to write a book, too. It amazes me the number of stories that haven’t been told.
Everyone has a story.
We’ll chat for a bit about the book, then the question comes…
I want to write a book. How do I get started?
Here’s how you write a book. You sit down at the computer, type 33,000 words, send it to a publisher, and wait for people to knock at your door because the bookstores have sold out. (Insert sarcasm here)
Seriously though, the first thing I tell people is to be prepared to commit. It’s not an overnight process. It’s hard work. It’s time-consuming. Writing a book can be draining, both emotionally and physically.
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by | Faith Lived Out, Life Application
Father’s Day was Sunday. Why would I be talking about it now? Because those words still linger in the hearts of young boys and girls, as well as grown men and women. Today. In the moment.
Since publishing my new book, Dear Dad, last month, I’ve heard countless stories from those who grew up without a father and how it’s still affecting their lives today. It breaks my heart. It makes me angry.
I find myself wanting to grab every dad by the collar of his shirt, get in his face and ask, “Are you seeing this?”
However, the more people I talk to, the more I realize we are living in the middle of a spiritual attack. Satan loves the absence of a father. Why wouldn’t he?
Last week I met a man named Joseph. He assisted me in getting a phone upgrade, which turned into two days of an adventure, after bringing my parents back to the store and upgrading them to phones that weren’t prehistoric.
It turns out his father was killed when he was a boy. In the blink of an eye his life changed. He grew up without a dad. He turned to drugs. He tried to fill the void of his father’s absence with other things. Abandonment was all he felt, like so many of us who grew up without fathers.
It saddens my heart to see so many hurting, but it angers me even more. Now I’m angry enough to stand up and fight. To fight a battle that we can win. To fight with prayer.
For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. – Ephesians 6:12
Satan attacked my father with addictions and his absence caused terrible pain in my life. I tried everything to fill the void: drugs, alcohol, food, relationships.
But the victory is mine because I have overcome!
You, dear children, are from God and have overcome them, because the one who is in you is greater than the one who is in the world. – 1 John 4:4
We may be in a battle, but we are the victors! We must continue to fight to good fight. Pray for fathers. Pray for the fatherless. The devil can’t stand up to Scripture, which means he can’t stand up to us when God’s Word is rolling off our lips.
Don’t let the absence of your father steer your life today. Stand up and proclaim victory, for God is father of the fatherless.
Join me in prayer today for all fathers. May they let God guide the course of their lives. May they invest in their families. May they stand on the truth.
by | Life Application
Gay pride parades. They’ve been around for years – since 1970 actually, when the first parade hit the streets of New York City.
I’ve never been to a gay pride parade before, but I want to go. Why? Not because I’m eager to see drag queens (I’ve seen the shows plenty of times back in the day), or rainbow flags parading the street. I want to see people. True, genuine people who are fighting for something they believe in, whether it’s right or wrong.
I imagine there will be plenty of “Christian” activists on the streets as well, chanting their fair share of lingo as the LGBT community yell out their slogans, too.
I picture this in my mind, and maybe I’m over analyzing. If I were to go to the Gay Pride parade, where would I stand? In the streets with the gogo dancers or on the other side of the street with the Christians?
I would have to choose neither. I don’t want to stand up for a cause that doesn’t line up with God’s Word, but I also don’t want to stand up with a religious cause that doesn’t stand up to God’s Word, like staring at Bill and Bob holding hands with contempt in my heart because of their lifestyle choice, while my own life is in shambles because my sin is different and not as present.
I don’t want to stand with a big chunk of wood in my eye and preach Bible verses to real people because that’s what we’re “supposed to do.”
But aren’t we supposed to do something?
Yes we are. We are to love as Jesus loved, just like he said in John 13:34. We are to love with grace and truth the way Jesus did.
If Jesus were at the gay pride parade, would he hold a sign and chant? (tweet that)
So, what can we do as Christians? Randy Thomas, Executive Vice President of Exodus International, couldn’t have said it any better.
Leave the little tracts and testimonies on brightly colored paper at home. Don’t make any signs quoting the Old Testament and look to do acts of service instead of bullhorn evangelism.
Guess what? Jesus can be at the gay pride parade. If you are a follower of Jesus Christ, then He is in you. And according to Ephesians 2:10, we were created in Christ Jesus to do good works. So, lets do it.
Pass out water to thirsty people standing for a cause. Smile. Trust the Lord to provide His light to the world through you.
Randy wrote an amazing blog the other today that gives some great ideas on how to put labels on your water, invite the LGBT community to church, and more. Check it out here.
Let’s stop pretending and actually love like Jesus loved. Who’s with me? Leave a comment below…
by | Life Application
What is my purpose in my life? I’ve asked myself that question a million times throughout my 29 years.
Will I ever be somebody? Will I do what I’m supposed to do? Why am I even here? I used to ask myself those questions consistently and I’m assuming I’m not alone.
The definition of purpose according to my friends Merriam and Webster defines it as something set up as an object or end to be attained :intention.
As I read that, this question comes to mind:
Why is there an end to be attained in life?
Yes, we should live a life planning for our future, but what about living in the present, too?
Why does purpose have to be a final destination?
Jon Acuff writes in Start: Punch Fear in the Face, Escape Average and Do Work That Matters,
One of the worst things you can do is trying to find your purpose in life. Nothing cripples you like trying to “find your purpose,” or “figure out your dream,” or “name your passion.”
That makes a lot of sense. Speaking for myself, I can get so consumed in naming my passion, that I miss out on the very things in front of me. I put too much pressure on myself, thus setting myself up for failure.
I’m realizing I can have more than one passion and honestly, that feels relieving.
I have more than one purpose in my life. So do you. (Tweet that)
We still need to live with purpose. We need to enjoy all the passions we have, and in the words of Acuff, we need to
Continually walk the road to awesome.
What are a few of your passions? Share them with me in the comments below…
![Six Lessons Restaurant Impossible Can Teach Us About Leadership]()
by | Life Application
photo credit: foodnetwork.com
Depending on who you ask, Robert Irvine is either a good guy or a bad guy. He’s been described as harsh, cold, overbearing, and rude. Those are the nice descriptions.
However, there is more to the man behind “Restaurant Impossible” than you may think.
I’m a big fan of the show. Recently a friend asked me why I liked it so much. Besides the fact that I have an entrepreneurial spirit and love to see businesses saved, Robert teaches me about leadership. I don’t know whether or not he is a Christian. I hope so. Whether or not he is or isn’t, there is a lot to learn from the man behind one of the Food Network’s top rated shows.
The truth is hard.
After evaluating the staff, the food, the customer service, etc., Robert stands in front of the owners and firmly speaks his mind. He tells them why they’re failing, how they can fix it, and he doesn’t make his words sound pretty.
Leaders need to speak the truth, even when it hurts. Perhaps he could wind himself down a little bit, but Irvine gets the point across. He doesn’t allow excuses, and he expects everyone to take responsibility.
If you let people stay where they are, you’re hurting them, not helping them.
Be willing to get dirty.
Leaders don’t stand on the sidelines and simply give orders. They have to be willing to do the hard things.
Robert has cleaned the grime off dirty ovens that aren’t in his kitchen. He’s prepped food to serve to customers that aren’t his. He’s painted, torn down walls, swept floors, and stacked dishes.
He works. He sweats. He bosses. He leads. When the job needs done, he’s not afraid to get on his hands and knees and make it happen.
Leading others isn’t about sitting behind a desk and giving orders. It’s about being on the frontlines with those you are leading. It involves making sacrifices, walking in humility, and getting down and dirty when it’s necessary.
Passion is necessary.
Robert Irvine doesn’t travel across the country saving failing restaurants simply because he gets paid a nice chunk of change from The Food Network, though that’s certainly a plus. He does it because he cares. He’s passionate about helping others rebuild their businesses, as well as their relationships.
If you haven’t watched an episode yet, give it a shot. Many partners are failing simply because they don’t communicate. He doesn’t just talk about the business issues, he gets to the root of why the business if failing, and that usually has something to do with personal issues.
If you’re not passionate about what you’re doing, it will eventually catch up with you. What passions should you be pursuing right now?
There is no room for fear.
He walks into a restaurant with broken people, broken floors, outdated wallpaper, and rotten food hidden behind grills that haven’t been cleaned. He’s given two days and $10,000 to make it successful. Oh, and he has to do that while the world watches it on television.
There’s something scary about that, isn’t there? People are watching. Failure lurks around every corner. Time decides whether failure happens or not. But he does it afraid.
When in doubt, do it afraid. Don’t let the fear of failure keep you from following something you’re passionate about.
Confidence is key.
While you’re doing it afraid, do it confidently. Believe in your ability to do something and do it with all you’ve got.
Robert doesn’t walk into a restaurant and say, “I think I can make this happen in two days.” Instead, he lets them know he came to help that he isn’t there to fail and if they follow his direction and guidance, their business will be successful.
He doesn’t do this in a conceited way. He’s confident because he’s worked hard, learned from his failures, continues to grow, and strives to do what he says he will do. He’s confident because he knows he can do it.
Are you confident? Confident that you can tackle that new, scary career change? Convinced that you can write that new book? Secure in the fact that you can lose those 50 lbs. you need to lose?
Don’t be afraid to hear the truth, or give it to others. Find your passion and chase it. Do it afraid. Believe you have the ability to do it.
This is it – your one chance at life to make things happen.
What step can you take today to make things happen? Leave a comment below…
