by | Faith Lived Out, Life Application
A guy in my small group asked me this question last night.
Is alcoholism a disease?
I honestly thought I would have a quick answer with a great explanation to fire back at him, but I had to sit and soak in the question for a moment. I’m still marinating in it, actually.
He asked me the question because he knows I come from a family filled with a past involving alcohol.
My father. His father. His grandfather. His siblings.
Alcohol has labeled one side of my family for decades.
I won’t pretend to know everything about alcoholism. But I will give you my opinion on it, and back it up scripturally.
When a person, whether Christian or not, battles an addiction to alcohol, or any addiction for that matter, they usually label themselves an alcoholic. They tend to stick with that label throughout the course of their lives.
But, I can’t agree with that, especially when Jesus comes into the picture.
You see, Paul tells us in 2 Corinthians 5:17 that we are a new creation in Christ Jesus. He goes on to say,
The old has gone, the new is here!
So, that tells me that labeling ourselves with our struggle with addiction doesn’t line up with God’s Word.
Allow me to use food as an example.
I’ve struggled with using food as a coping mechanism all of my life. Though I’ve given my life to Christ, that struggle is still very real.
There are days I find myself running to it because I don’t want to deal with my emotions. There are moments I use overeating as an excuse to escape reality.
That does not, however, mean I will label myself as a food addict or call it a disease.
For me, I would call it an issue with my heart. It means something deeper is happening, and it’s causing me to make an immoral decision to turn to food rather than turn to God, who is the true source of my strength.
Proverbs 23:20-21 tells me in those moments that I am a glutton. I would believe that to be true. I’m not thinking about myself in that moment. I’m thinking about feeding my own desires.
I still don’t have a clear answer on whether or not alcholism is a disease, but I will say this:
I believe alcholism is a generational curse.
The Bible says that God visits the iniquity of the fathers on the children to the third and fourth generations of those who hate Him, but shows mercy to thousands, to those who love Him and keep His commandments.
We live in a world where evil is prevalent. It’s overpowering. Satan is the prince of this world and darkness is his favorite color.
Why would he not try to destroy our lives with things such as alcohol, drugs, food, sex, pornography, etc?
We can’t focus on our addiction and believe we are a new creation in Christ at the same time.
It doesn’t work that way. It’s up to us to break that curse.
I am breaking the curse of sexual abuse in my family by sharing my redemption with the world. The stronghold of that shame no longer controls me and because of that decision generations behind me, and after, will be changed.
Not because of my own doing, but because of the power of God and Him using me as His tool.
He wants to use you, too.
I encourage you to stop labeling yourself with an addiction.
You are not an alcoholic. You are not a pornography addict. You are not a drug addict.
If you know Jesus Christ, then you are a new creation, and it’s time to step up and claim that title, not a title the world gives you! Allow God to use you right where you are, in the midst of your struggles.
What are your thoughts? Is alcoholism a disease? I’d really love to hear from you in the comments below…
by | Life Application
My dad couldn’t work his way around a computer and honestly, I didn’t have the patience to teach him. So, I was surprised to open it up one day, only to find the remnants of images of naked women posing for the man behind the camera.
photo credit: shutterstock
My stomach dropped. My heart sank. Disgust overwhelmed me. Memories filled my mind, again. Memories I convinced myself I had blocked.
How could my father look at this trashy stuff? How could he use what belonged to me to entertain himself with such filth? In that moment, I so desperately wished I wasn’t related to him. There was an instant in my heart I desired to never know who my father was.
However, the truth, or what I saw as the truth, hit me like a ton of bricks.
I was just like my father.
His shameful secret had been mine, too. A secret I had only told to one other person, and I hadn’t revealed the complete truth to her thanks to the defeating lies of shame and condemnation. As years have passed, I have opened the door to those secrets with safe people in my life.
Those pictures were all too familiar. The images of strange faces doing things with their bodies that became ordinary to me. I remember shame hitting me again, as I judged him with every ounce of my being for being a disgusting pervert.
But I was no different. I just didn’t get caught.
Pornography had controlled my life since I was a little girl. I once thought it normal, until 2006, when I promised God I would never look at it again.
I ask myself why I’m writing this, but something in me says it needs to be done. I just sprung out of bed with this memory. Perhaps I’m writing for my own benefit, or God has plans to heal someone else with it. I fear being vulnerable with you about my past, but God is bigger.
I’m realizing as I write this, that this part of my past is still causing fear for my future, especially in the way I view marriage and sex.
My view of sex is skewed.
My mind convinces me it’s dirty and it will always be that way.
My fears remind me that I will never be a good wife, because I won’t be physically available to my husband the way a wife needs to be. I fear I won’t understand romance or safety with him.
I’m afraid of what those images that seem to be branded into my mind will cause my husband to think of me. I convince myself for this reason that I’m destined to be single. Unlovable. Untouchable.
I buy into the myth that I will never truly understand a healthy sexual relationship and no man deserves to enter into a marriage with me, because our lives will be filled with fear on my end and frustration on his.
I cringe at what Satan has tried to steal from me.
He used boys to steal my innocence as a child. He used a “friend” to put the word rape into action in my life. He used pornography at the age of six years old to distort my view of healthy sexual intimacy.
I want to fight. I do. I pray in this moment and ask God to show me. I thank Him for revealing this issue to me at a deeper level. I pray for a husband who will show me grace. I know I may need more of it than the average wife.
I want to believe. I do believe. I want to. I try. I will believe.
Will you join me?
by | Life Application
The last five hours have been interesting. I’m currently sitting in the waiting room of the ER, waiting for my mom to be admitted for an infection. I have to say my 30th birthday has already been eventful.
Of course, I’ve found things to do to entertain myself, and her.
Today I say goodbye to a decade – a decade full of hard times, blessings, valleys, restored relationships, and more. Today I say hello to a new decade as I celebrate 30 years of life.
You see, there was a day I wasn’t sure that I’d ever live long enough to see 30. There were moments in life I had no desire to live another day, much less celebrate the beginning of a new decade in life.
But that was then and this is now.
I wanted to list 30 things I’m thankful for today as I celebrate my 30th birthday. Will you join me?
- Freedom from the bondage of my past.
- My mom. She’s one of a kind.
- A new ministry opportunity I had no idea would be in my future.
- My health is being restored by the great Jehovah Rappha.
- I’m able to run again for the first time in almost three years.
- XL exam gloves that I can fit on my head.
- New friendships.
- Old friendships that continue to grow stronger through the ups and downs of life.
- Restored relationships.
- Books. There are never enough.
- Knowing my father is in Heaven.
- A step-father who loves Jesus.
- Financial healing.
- Dave Ramsey’s Financial Peace University.
- Joyce Meyer’s boldness to speak truth into my life.
- My new dog Shatzi, even though she’s deaf.
- The worship band at Woodland Hills Family Church.
- The new Darlene Zschech album, “Revealing Jesus.”
- ALO with green tea
- The fan noise on my iPad
- My 12 year old cousin, Caleb, who is growing faster than he should be allowed to.
- Hand Sanitizer
- Flip-flops
- Evernote. It organizes my life.
- The Circle Maker by Mark Batterson. This book will change your life, at least once.
- The ability to read through the Bible in chronological order. It’s wow!
- My small group, who meet every Monday night to study God’s Word together. We laugh a lot.
- Dropbox. It too makes my life more organized and easier.
- Massage Therapy. At times it’s for fun, but it’s been key in my healing.
- My chiropractor. He’s a man who serves Jesus with all his heart and has helped restore me back to health in so many way.
The list could probably go on. I have so many things to be grateful for.
You see, I may be sitting in the ER right now, but I’m doing it with a smile. Why? Because I know Satan has plans to derail me and the calling God has put on my life. He must not know me well, because I’m a fighter.
I will smile. I will praise God. And I will remember I am in one heck of a spiritual battle.
Guess what? Jesus wins!
What are you thankful for today? Leave a comment below…
by | Life Application
I met with a friend the other day who is going through some struggles. She’s been walking a path lately that’s led to some hard consequences, but her heart desires to follow God and take a different path.
We were processing this together and making plans to head down the right road.
As she was sharing a few of her struggles with me, I validated her in understanding what she was going through. During our conversation, she looked at me like I had two heads, after I told her I had just come from an appointment with a Christian counselor.
You see, she thought I was going through life just fine, without any problems.
“Every time I hear someone talk about you, they talk about how good you’re doing and how great life is for you,” she said.
I just laughed. She was confused. She assumed that I no longer have problems, that I handle every situation perfectly, and that life is perfect for me. Not even close!
Life isn’t perfect for me. It’s not perfect for anyone.
Lately, my heart has been heavy. It hasn’t been in a good place and I haven’t been able to put my finger on the one thing causing it. Turns out it may be more than one thing.
So, I decided I needed a tune up. I needed to go process my heart with someone who specializes in that. And so I did.
I sat down on the couch of a Christian counselor and I shared my struggles with her. I talked. She listened. She talked. I listened. She made suggestions and I soaked up her advice.
Now, today, it is my job to apply those suggestions to my life. And I’m excited about them. I’m excited to work on my heart and strengthen my relationship with my Heavenly Father.
Life will never be perfect.
No matter your spiritual walk with Christ, you will always have things to work on. That goes for me, you, and the neighbor next door.
Does this mean life isn’t great? Absolutely not. It means life is real. It means we are constantly fighting a spiritual battle against the enemy.
Let’s fight together.
My vulnerability and transparency was freeing to my friend, because it was a reminder she wasn’t the only one struggling. It was a reminder whether you are mopping floors, leading a ministry, teaching children, bandaging patients, and anything else, none of us are above the other.
We’re all God’s children. We were all created in His image. We all struggle. It’s inevitable.
I write this to you as encouragement. Perhaps you’ve been considering counseling, but your pride says, “no way.” Maybe you need a tune up in an area of your life.
Not that you need permission, but I want to tell you today that it’s ok. Go get that tune up. You never know who it will inspire to do the same.
Your transparency and vulnerability could lead others to walk down a road of light vs. darkness.
Isn’t it worth it, if it only changes one person? I think so.
Here’s to walking through your struggles with you!
When has your vulnerability been an example to others? Share in the comments below. I’d love to hear about it…
by | Life Application
I finally decided to watch the movie Good Will Hunting. I knew it had won awards. I knew Robin Williams, Matt Damon, and Ben Affleck were in it.
Beyond that, I had no idea what it was about, but Netflix recommended it while I was on the elliptical, so I went for it.
Matt Damon is a janitor at a university by day. But at night, when all the other students leave the building, Damon is a math whiz, who solves formulas even the professor can’t. Then he goes to the bar with his buddies, drinks his problems away, and starts over the next day.
The professor quickly catches on and realizes Will (Damon) is a genius, but everything about his life says otherwise. He is a foul-mouthed, disrespectful, punk kid. On the surface anyway. Deep down, however, he is crying for help, a little boy desperately seeking some validation.
Robin Williams plays a psychologist assigned to get to the “deeper issues” of Will’s heart, but Will isn’t interested. His plan is to push Sean Maguire (Williams) away, just as he has done with everyone else in his life.
Foster parents had given up on him, beat him, burned him, and more. He had never understood the concept of grace and love. After realizing this psychologist wasn’t going to just throw in the towel, Will softens little by little.
Then came these words of out Maguire’s mouth. Words that changed the heart of this kid and set his life on a different course.
It’s not your fault. It’s not your fault. It’s not your fault.
Will finally grasps the truth. He finally realizes he wasn’t responsible for the pain inflicted on him as a child. Finally, after years of building walls around his heart, he is able to let it go, as he embraces Maguire and cries tears of safety for the first time in his life.
I write this to YOU today.
You, the one whose father molested and raped you.
You, the one whose mother beat you beyond recognition.
You, the one whose teacher told you how worthless you were.
You, the one whose uncle told you if you told anyone he would kill you.
It’s not your fault. It’s not your fault. It’s not your fault.
I’m sorry. I’m sorry those things happened to you. I’m sorry you couldn’t trust those with authority over you. I’m sorry they lied to you. I’m sorry they hurt you. I’m sorry. It’s not your fault.
Today, though, is different. Today is a new day.
Today is the day to embrace God’s love for you. Today is the day to understand what His grace for you means. Today is the day for you to grasp the truth about who you are and how much the God who created you loves you. Today is the day.
Today is the day you cry out for help to someone you can trust. Today is the day you allow them to embrace you as you cry until you can’t possibly get anymore tears out. Today is the day you stop allowing the past to control your future. Today is the day you believe there is hope.
Today is the day.
Your past doesn’t have to be your future. I’m living proof. I want freedom for you. I’m praying for you. I’m believing in a new future for you.
I love you.
by | Life Application
“You can be anything you want to be.” Those are the words spoken to us from childhood.
Men and women stand in the audition room on American Idol, belting out a tune that may kill the neighbor’s dog six states away, believing they really can sing. Why? Because their parents told them they could.
Mom heard little Sarah sing at the age of three and clapped at the solo concerts. Who wouldn’t? Every three-year old is the best singer in the world.
But when you’re 22 and you’re still singing in the same pitch you were at three, there’s a problem.
My guess? You weren’t meant to be a singer. Ever.
Jon Acuff writes in Start,
You can’t be “anything you want,” but you can be something even better: the best version of you.
Yes! This makes so much sense. We aren’t all singers, writers, musicians, doctors, you get the point. I work with an IT guy and I’m pretty sure the size of his brain would give me a headache if we were to trade places.
Guess what? I’m so okay with not knowing why this cord doesn’t allow that hard drive to process the dishwasher’s defibulator when the qpx crosses the fiver. (Confused yet?)
Trying to be good at everything will leave us good at nothing.
I may not be an IT tech and I can’t sing either, but there are several things I can be the best version of me at. I’m a speaker, a writer, a leader. I’m good at those things. Why? Because God designed me to love them. He continues to teach me how to be better. And I continue to want to be better because He has put those gifts in me.
Take delight in the LORD, and he will give you the desires of your heart. – Psalm 37:4
Are you doing what you love? Are you pursuing a passion that wakes you up everyday? Are you striving to be the best version of you?
If not, it’s time to S.T.A.R.T.
