by | Life Application
I met with a friend the other day who is going through some struggles. She’s been walking a path lately that’s led to some hard consequences, but her heart desires to follow God and take a different path.
We were processing this together and making plans to head down the right road.
As she was sharing a few of her struggles with me, I validated her in understanding what she was going through. During our conversation, she looked at me like I had two heads, after I told her I had just come from an appointment with a Christian counselor.
You see, she thought I was going through life just fine, without any problems.
“Every time I hear someone talk about you, they talk about how good you’re doing and how great life is for you,” she said.
I just laughed. She was confused. She assumed that I no longer have problems, that I handle every situation perfectly, and that life is perfect for me. Not even close!
Life isn’t perfect for me. It’s not perfect for anyone.
Lately, my heart has been heavy. It hasn’t been in a good place and I haven’t been able to put my finger on the one thing causing it. Turns out it may be more than one thing.
So, I decided I needed a tune up. I needed to go process my heart with someone who specializes in that. And so I did.
I sat down on the couch of a Christian counselor and I shared my struggles with her. I talked. She listened. She talked. I listened. She made suggestions and I soaked up her advice.
Now, today, it is my job to apply those suggestions to my life. And I’m excited about them. I’m excited to work on my heart and strengthen my relationship with my Heavenly Father.
Life will never be perfect.
No matter your spiritual walk with Christ, you will always have things to work on. That goes for me, you, and the neighbor next door.
Does this mean life isn’t great? Absolutely not. It means life is real. It means we are constantly fighting a spiritual battle against the enemy.
Let’s fight together.
My vulnerability and transparency was freeing to my friend, because it was a reminder she wasn’t the only one struggling. It was a reminder whether you are mopping floors, leading a ministry, teaching children, bandaging patients, and anything else, none of us are above the other.
We’re all God’s children. We were all created in His image. We all struggle. It’s inevitable.
I write this to you as encouragement. Perhaps you’ve been considering counseling, but your pride says, “no way.” Maybe you need a tune up in an area of your life.
Not that you need permission, but I want to tell you today that it’s ok. Go get that tune up. You never know who it will inspire to do the same.
Your transparency and vulnerability could lead others to walk down a road of light vs. darkness.
Isn’t it worth it, if it only changes one person? I think so.
Here’s to walking through your struggles with you!
When has your vulnerability been an example to others? Share in the comments below. I’d love to hear about it…
by | Life Application
I finally decided to watch the movie Good Will Hunting. I knew it had won awards. I knew Robin Williams, Matt Damon, and Ben Affleck were in it.
Beyond that, I had no idea what it was about, but Netflix recommended it while I was on the elliptical, so I went for it.
Matt Damon is a janitor at a university by day. But at night, when all the other students leave the building, Damon is a math whiz, who solves formulas even the professor can’t. Then he goes to the bar with his buddies, drinks his problems away, and starts over the next day.
The professor quickly catches on and realizes Will (Damon) is a genius, but everything about his life says otherwise. He is a foul-mouthed, disrespectful, punk kid. On the surface anyway. Deep down, however, he is crying for help, a little boy desperately seeking some validation.
Robin Williams plays a psychologist assigned to get to the “deeper issues” of Will’s heart, but Will isn’t interested. His plan is to push Sean Maguire (Williams) away, just as he has done with everyone else in his life.
Foster parents had given up on him, beat him, burned him, and more. He had never understood the concept of grace and love. After realizing this psychologist wasn’t going to just throw in the towel, Will softens little by little.
Then came these words of out Maguire’s mouth. Words that changed the heart of this kid and set his life on a different course.
It’s not your fault. It’s not your fault. It’s not your fault.
Will finally grasps the truth. He finally realizes he wasn’t responsible for the pain inflicted on him as a child. Finally, after years of building walls around his heart, he is able to let it go, as he embraces Maguire and cries tears of safety for the first time in his life.
I write this to YOU today.
You, the one whose father molested and raped you.
You, the one whose mother beat you beyond recognition.
You, the one whose teacher told you how worthless you were.
You, the one whose uncle told you if you told anyone he would kill you.
It’s not your fault. It’s not your fault. It’s not your fault.
I’m sorry. I’m sorry those things happened to you. I’m sorry you couldn’t trust those with authority over you. I’m sorry they lied to you. I’m sorry they hurt you. I’m sorry. It’s not your fault.
Today, though, is different. Today is a new day.
Today is the day to embrace God’s love for you. Today is the day to understand what His grace for you means. Today is the day for you to grasp the truth about who you are and how much the God who created you loves you. Today is the day.
Today is the day you cry out for help to someone you can trust. Today is the day you allow them to embrace you as you cry until you can’t possibly get anymore tears out. Today is the day you stop allowing the past to control your future. Today is the day you believe there is hope.
Today is the day.
Your past doesn’t have to be your future. I’m living proof. I want freedom for you. I’m praying for you. I’m believing in a new future for you.
I love you.
by | Life Application
“You can be anything you want to be.” Those are the words spoken to us from childhood.
Men and women stand in the audition room on American Idol, belting out a tune that may kill the neighbor’s dog six states away, believing they really can sing. Why? Because their parents told them they could.
Mom heard little Sarah sing at the age of three and clapped at the solo concerts. Who wouldn’t? Every three-year old is the best singer in the world.
But when you’re 22 and you’re still singing in the same pitch you were at three, there’s a problem.
My guess? You weren’t meant to be a singer. Ever.
Jon Acuff writes in Start,
You can’t be “anything you want,” but you can be something even better: the best version of you.
Yes! This makes so much sense. We aren’t all singers, writers, musicians, doctors, you get the point. I work with an IT guy and I’m pretty sure the size of his brain would give me a headache if we were to trade places.
Guess what? I’m so okay with not knowing why this cord doesn’t allow that hard drive to process the dishwasher’s defibulator when the qpx crosses the fiver. (Confused yet?)
Trying to be good at everything will leave us good at nothing.
I may not be an IT tech and I can’t sing either, but there are several things I can be the best version of me at. I’m a speaker, a writer, a leader. I’m good at those things. Why? Because God designed me to love them. He continues to teach me how to be better. And I continue to want to be better because He has put those gifts in me.
Take delight in the LORD, and he will give you the desires of your heart. – Psalm 37:4
Are you doing what you love? Are you pursuing a passion that wakes you up everyday? Are you striving to be the best version of you?
If not, it’s time to S.T.A.R.T.
![How to Tame a Deaf Dog]()
by | Life Application
I wanted a dog. It had been several years since I’d had one and frankly, I was tired of living in my apartment by myself. So, I woke up one morning and declared, “I want a dog!”
Within two days, a friend, who volunteers at the local humane society, called to say she had the perfect dog waiting for me. A few hours later, I headed up there to meet the sweet creature to see if we were a match. I took her for a walk, rubbed her ears, and even got a gentle kiss from her.
Then I left.
I didn’t want to make any rash decisions. Afterall, owning a dog is a big investment for me right now. Could I afford her? Did I have the time for her? Would I be a good doggy mom?
Four days later I brought her home. Dog food – check. Treats – check. Name tag – check. Something besides the television to talk to – check.
When I got home from work the next day, I couldn’t find her. I yelled for her, looked under the bed, checked the shower. Nothing. Then I found her bunched up on a pile of my little cousins stuff animals next to the couch. There she was, sleeping soundly. I said her name repeatedly, but nothing. It wasn’t until I reached out to pet her, that her startled eyes met mine and she was awake and ready to play.
Do I have a deaf dog?
Sure enough. After a few “tests,” I had reached my conclusion. My dog couldn’t hear a lick as they say in the redneck language I grew up with.
I must be honest and say having a deaf dog was certainly not in my plans. I wanted a companion I could talk to. I wanted to be greeted everyday when the keys rattled in the front door. I wanted to make up pet words that only she understood. Pardon the pun.
It turns out you can’t always get what you want, but you always get what you need. (Tweetable, no?)
I needed Shatzi. Though I’m still in the beginning stages of learning why, it makes sense. God is calling me into an area of my life where compassion and patience will be tested like never before. Why not use a deaf dog to start the process?
I’m learning to communicate differently. Though she can’t hear me, I still talk to her. Though she can’t hear the keys rattle, when she sees me coming, she runs towards me, tail wagging. And I still have the comfort in knowing she’s sitting right beside me on the couch as I write this, as content as can be.
I’m reminded that everything isn’t about me.
I’m learning a deeper love. I’m learning patience (sometimes more than I want to). I’m learning about loyalty.
They say dogs are a man’s best friend and I would have to agree with that. She can’t hear a word I’m saying, yet she trusts me enough to let me bend down, kiss her face and utter words from my lips she will never hear. I think we’re a great fit.
Name a time in your life God gave you what you needed instead of what you wanted. Answer in the comments below…
![How to Tame a Deaf Dog]()
by | Guest Posts, Life Application
Men. I’m 29 years old and sometimes the word still triggers me. In a moment, pain will stir in my heart and I’m reminded I still have healing to do.
I know all men are not created equal, but most of my life was spent believing that.
The first sexual contact I experienced was at the age of four, by a man. Then another. Then another.
I was convinced that the one man I desperately wanted to love me, my own father, chose alcohol over me.
He beat my mother. He beat my step-mother. I learned to mix his first drink at six years old. His friends, all men, were the same. They always smelled of whiskey or beer and I’m sure they only owned one shirt.
Not only was I struggling with my own view of men from an early age, but my mother was doing the same. Through her own disdain and fear of men, she was teaching me that men were evil. So far she had proved her theory to be true, so it was easy to believe.
I lost my virginity at a young age, assuming it was the thing to do. Isn’t that what so many of us believe?
Today I’m guest posting for my friend Jennifer over at Prayerfully Speaking.
Click here to read the rest of the post.
by | Life Application
I’ve been chewing on these words for the last couple of days:
I want to live a life that takes time to notice things that other people are overlooking. One that slows down to sit and soak up the beauty. One that creates space for the “wow” moments. – Jeff Goins, The In-Between
Where are you in the season of your life? Are you too busy?
I fight busyness a lot and over the last few months I’ve realized it’s been winning. I don’t like it. It doesn’t allow margin in my life. It doesn’t fit with my life plan. My one word for 2013 is “intentional,” and busyness gets in the way of that.
I’m not a fan of waiting, especially when it comes to fixing things. If someone has a problem, myself included, I want to find the solution as soon as possible. This isn’t always a bad thing, but sometimes I can be so intent on making things happen that I miss the message of the trial.
Being in a hurry all the time is stealing life from me and I only get to live once.
I’m realizing some days I need to put the iPhone down, stop capturing moments for the Instagram world, and actually absorb them for myself.
Last week I visited a friend on a farm in Louisiana. I knew the moment I hit the dirt road that I was in for a treat. I was surrounded by stillness, pear trees, and a three-legged cat. Life wasn’t busy.
Live a life that takes time to notice things that other people are overlooking.
My friend Jennifer and I took a morning walk along the 120-acre farm. Grasshoppers seemed to follow. The view of the dirt road took me back to days of living in my hometown.
The friendship that has been flourishing for the last five years is in a different place – a good, better place. How do I know? Because I took the time to notice.
Slow down and soak up the beauty.
I don’t do this often enough, but I want to. One morning on the farm, I sat outside on the front porch and listened. There wasn’t the sound of a cell phone, no one chatting on Skype, and Facebook managed to survive without me.
I sat. I soaked. I smiled. In this midst of doing nothing but sitting in a chair, I felt accomplished. Accomplished because at that very moment I was soaking up the beauty, not focusing on the expectations I put on myself.
Create space for the “wow” moments.
I’m not sure I know what this looks like yet, but I look forward to finding out. I don’t think a “wow” moment has to have fireworks and a front page story on the newspaper. These moments can be simple, yet profound.
I remember a time four years ago when I didn’t have the money for gas, much less a Starbucks coffee. I told God I would love a coffee. It was child-like faith. When I got to my friend Jammie’s office, her boss pulled out his wallet, asked her to grab him a Starbucks, and get one for her friend, too. (That was me.)
That was a “wow” moment. I savored every moment of that coffee. I was 25 years old and crying my eyes out with joy over a coffee. Why? Because God provided something that seems so small, yet it was huge to me. Wow is a great way to sum it up!
I’m transitioning out of the busyness in my life, so that I may enjoy the in-between. I’m realizing there is too much on my plate and I’m putting the art of delegation into practice so that I may have more “wow” moments, no matter how big or small.
Jeff Goins talks about these “wow” moments in his new book, The In-Between: Embracing the Tension Between Now and the Next Big Thing. It doesn’t release until next week, but you can pre-order it. You won’t regret it.
May we learn to live in the in-between together and create space in our lives for those “wow” moments.
What do you need to get rid of in your life to create more space? Leave a comment below…
