by | Life Application
We’ve all been a jerk at one time or another in our lives. Ok – all except me.
Kidding. I’ve been the queen of jerks, for sure.
What is a jerk?
The definition of jerk is a contemptibly obnoxious person. Yes.. I had to look up the word “contemptibly.”
If I may use a definition that doesn’t require a dictionary, I say a jerk is simply someone you can’t stand being around for longer than five minutes at a time. And truth is, we all have them in our lives.
There’s always that one person we dread being around every time his/her name is mentioned, because we know what a jerk they are. Again, I’ve been that jerk.
How do you become a jerk?
Instead of telling you what not to do, I thought I’d share some tips on how you can sucessfully be a jerk and guarantee yourself a spot on the “no one wants to be around me” throne.
Constantly interrupt others when they’re talking. Everything you have to say is obviously more important than anyone else. You can pretend like you want to hear them, but we all know you don’t. So, simply wait for the right moment and draw the conversation back to you in the middle of someone’s else’s story.
Prove you are always right. I asked some friends to chime in on this discussion, and I couldn’t have said it better myself.
a jerk is sure they are right and more right than you and you should be wrong if it makes feeling right feel more right to them.
Say that three times fast.
Lead your employees and colleagues with an iron fist. Don’t encourage them or tell them the good things they have done. Instead, mock them and degrade them in front of others to make sure you get your point across. Call them names when they make a mistake and do it loud enough for the rest of the office to hear.
This doesn’t make you a leader. It makes you a bad manager of those appointed to you.
Believe you are the center of the universe and everything revolves around you. Wait. Isn’t this the same thing as the first point? Maybe, but allow me to elaborate a little. To be a successful jerk, you must not only interrupt everyone else’s conversations to bring the attention back to you, but you must communicate this message to everyone.
Whether you’re on the phone, sending an email, or waiting in line to grab your to-go order that you happen to be 10 minutes early for but swear is late, you want everyone in the room to know that you are the VIP. Remember to speak louder than usual so everyone in the back can hear you.
Be holier than thou. This is where you pray with others around you. Again, make sure you’re loud enough for everyone to hear. After you ask God to bless the food and lift up the ones you love to be “safe, healthy, and prosperous,” all in Jesus’s name, you then repeat steps one through four to ensure you get the “biggest jerk” award.
To add a flare of drama to it, read through the book of Proverbs out loud, emphasizing the sin of pride. Then refuse to back down from a situation because you want to be right.
Don’t be a jerk. It’s really unattractive. It certainly doesn’t make people want to be around you, nor does it cause others to desire a relationship with the Jesus you talk about.
What did I miss? What other ways will ensure you are a successful jerk? Leave a comment below…
by | Life Application
There are some amazing people I’ve had the opportunity of connecting with in the blogosphere.
Almost every morning, I log into feedly and read posts from some of my favorite bloggers, whether it’s on Christianity, marketing, or leadership. I get filled with knowledge and inspiration. I’ve actually been gone for the last four days and have a lot of catch up reading to do.
Without further ado, I want to share some of my favorite blogs with you.
Mary DeMuth – An author, speaker, and amazing woman of God, Mary inspires me almost on a daily basis. Her theme is living a life uncaged. An overcomer of sexual abuse, she uses her past to offer hope to others. Her latest book, The Wall Around Your Heart, is changing lives already. Learn more about Mary here and be sure to subscribe to her blog.
Single Roots – I love this blog and the content provided. My friend Jessica Bufkin is the genius behind the blog, but it also features guest writers. I’ve been blessed to have guest posted there a few times. If you are single, the blog allows you to connect with other singles, as well as realize you’re not the only single one out there seeking answers to life. They even provide reviews on some of the top dating websites. Check out the blog here.
Prayerfully Speaking – This is the blog of my personal friend and mentor, Jennifer White. I’m pretty partial to her and the blog, but even if I wasn’t, it’s an amazing resource for prayer. She covers various topics and life issues with prayer, and she wants to pray with you and for you. Trust me – she’s a good prayer warrior to have on your side. She has a new book coming out for new brides I’m super excited about. Check out the book and more about Jennifer here.
Ken Davis – I look forward to the day I get to shake this man’s hand. Not only does he make me laugh, he can make me cry, too. He has a ginormous servant’s heart and has the amazing talent of providing you comic relief. He’s a great leadership guy and I am always moved by his posts. He’s a dynamic communicator and I’m sure you’ll love his blog just as much as I do.
Michael Hyatt – So much of what I have learned in the last three years about leadership and social media came from Michael Hyatt. It’s because of his knowledge of book publishing and book proposal submission that I received a book deal. Whether you seek to learn more about building your platform, being a better leader, or being more productive with your time, Hyatt is extremely informative in all he writes about. He doesn’t just write about it – he lives it.
Jeff Goins – He blogs at goinswriter.com about making things happen. Whether it’s writing or pursuing a dream, his words are always inspiring. I’ve been privileged to be on the inside of watching him publish two best-selling books. What a journey! A humble man with a serving heart, you too will be inspired by his words. Don’t miss his blog here.
What are some of your favorite blogs? I want to hear. Share them in the comments below…
by | Life Application
I hear them all the time. Often, they come from the best meaning Christians who have hearts the size of Texas.
However, I think they do more harm than good.
Hate the sin. Love the sinner.
I’m guilty, too. I’ve been there and said them as well.
But then I realized they were pushing people away from me – not bringing them closer. I had to ask myself what I would think if someone walked up to me while I was living in my own sin and said,
I hate the sin you’re committing but I love you.
You know what most of us hear from that statement?
I hate you…
Does this mean we should be allowed to sin without being confronted by those who love us? No. Not saying that. I am saying, however, perhaps we should approach it in a different way, especially when it comes to those who aren’t believers.
I think this picture sums it up well, don’t you?
by | Faith Lived Out, Life Application
A guy in my small group asked me this question last night.
Is alcoholism a disease?
I honestly thought I would have a quick answer with a great explanation to fire back at him, but I had to sit and soak in the question for a moment. I’m still marinating in it, actually.
He asked me the question because he knows I come from a family filled with a past involving alcohol.
My father. His father. His grandfather. His siblings.
Alcohol has labeled one side of my family for decades.
I won’t pretend to know everything about alcoholism. But I will give you my opinion on it, and back it up scripturally.
When a person, whether Christian or not, battles an addiction to alcohol, or any addiction for that matter, they usually label themselves an alcoholic. They tend to stick with that label throughout the course of their lives.
But, I can’t agree with that, especially when Jesus comes into the picture.
You see, Paul tells us in 2 Corinthians 5:17 that we are a new creation in Christ Jesus. He goes on to say,
The old has gone, the new is here!
So, that tells me that labeling ourselves with our struggle with addiction doesn’t line up with God’s Word.
Allow me to use food as an example.
I’ve struggled with using food as a coping mechanism all of my life. Though I’ve given my life to Christ, that struggle is still very real.
There are days I find myself running to it because I don’t want to deal with my emotions. There are moments I use overeating as an excuse to escape reality.
That does not, however, mean I will label myself as a food addict or call it a disease.
For me, I would call it an issue with my heart. It means something deeper is happening, and it’s causing me to make an immoral decision to turn to food rather than turn to God, who is the true source of my strength.
Proverbs 23:20-21 tells me in those moments that I am a glutton. I would believe that to be true. I’m not thinking about myself in that moment. I’m thinking about feeding my own desires.
I still don’t have a clear answer on whether or not alcholism is a disease, but I will say this:
I believe alcholism is a generational curse.
The Bible says that God visits the iniquity of the fathers on the children to the third and fourth generations of those who hate Him, but shows mercy to thousands, to those who love Him and keep His commandments.
We live in a world where evil is prevalent. It’s overpowering. Satan is the prince of this world and darkness is his favorite color.
Why would he not try to destroy our lives with things such as alcohol, drugs, food, sex, pornography, etc?
We can’t focus on our addiction and believe we are a new creation in Christ at the same time.
It doesn’t work that way. It’s up to us to break that curse.
I am breaking the curse of sexual abuse in my family by sharing my redemption with the world. The stronghold of that shame no longer controls me and because of that decision generations behind me, and after, will be changed.
Not because of my own doing, but because of the power of God and Him using me as His tool.
He wants to use you, too.
I encourage you to stop labeling yourself with an addiction.
You are not an alcoholic. You are not a pornography addict. You are not a drug addict.
If you know Jesus Christ, then you are a new creation, and it’s time to step up and claim that title, not a title the world gives you! Allow God to use you right where you are, in the midst of your struggles.
What are your thoughts? Is alcoholism a disease? I’d really love to hear from you in the comments below…
by | Life Application
My dad couldn’t work his way around a computer and honestly, I didn’t have the patience to teach him. So, I was surprised to open it up one day, only to find the remnants of images of naked women posing for the man behind the camera.
photo credit: shutterstock
My stomach dropped. My heart sank. Disgust overwhelmed me. Memories filled my mind, again. Memories I convinced myself I had blocked.
How could my father look at this trashy stuff? How could he use what belonged to me to entertain himself with such filth? In that moment, I so desperately wished I wasn’t related to him. There was an instant in my heart I desired to never know who my father was.
However, the truth, or what I saw as the truth, hit me like a ton of bricks.
I was just like my father.
His shameful secret had been mine, too. A secret I had only told to one other person, and I hadn’t revealed the complete truth to her thanks to the defeating lies of shame and condemnation. As years have passed, I have opened the door to those secrets with safe people in my life.
Those pictures were all too familiar. The images of strange faces doing things with their bodies that became ordinary to me. I remember shame hitting me again, as I judged him with every ounce of my being for being a disgusting pervert.
But I was no different. I just didn’t get caught.
Pornography had controlled my life since I was a little girl. I once thought it normal, until 2006, when I promised God I would never look at it again.
I ask myself why I’m writing this, but something in me says it needs to be done. I just sprung out of bed with this memory. Perhaps I’m writing for my own benefit, or God has plans to heal someone else with it. I fear being vulnerable with you about my past, but God is bigger.
I’m realizing as I write this, that this part of my past is still causing fear for my future, especially in the way I view marriage and sex.
My view of sex is skewed.
My mind convinces me it’s dirty and it will always be that way.
My fears remind me that I will never be a good wife, because I won’t be physically available to my husband the way a wife needs to be. I fear I won’t understand romance or safety with him.
I’m afraid of what those images that seem to be branded into my mind will cause my husband to think of me. I convince myself for this reason that I’m destined to be single. Unlovable. Untouchable.
I buy into the myth that I will never truly understand a healthy sexual relationship and no man deserves to enter into a marriage with me, because our lives will be filled with fear on my end and frustration on his.
I cringe at what Satan has tried to steal from me.
He used boys to steal my innocence as a child. He used a “friend” to put the word rape into action in my life. He used pornography at the age of six years old to distort my view of healthy sexual intimacy.
I want to fight. I do. I pray in this moment and ask God to show me. I thank Him for revealing this issue to me at a deeper level. I pray for a husband who will show me grace. I know I may need more of it than the average wife.
I want to believe. I do believe. I want to. I try. I will believe.
Will you join me?
by | Life Application
The last five hours have been interesting. I’m currently sitting in the waiting room of the ER, waiting for my mom to be admitted for an infection. I have to say my 30th birthday has already been eventful.
Of course, I’ve found things to do to entertain myself, and her.
Today I say goodbye to a decade – a decade full of hard times, blessings, valleys, restored relationships, and more. Today I say hello to a new decade as I celebrate 30 years of life.
You see, there was a day I wasn’t sure that I’d ever live long enough to see 30. There were moments in life I had no desire to live another day, much less celebrate the beginning of a new decade in life.
But that was then and this is now.
I wanted to list 30 things I’m thankful for today as I celebrate my 30th birthday. Will you join me?
- Freedom from the bondage of my past.
- My mom. She’s one of a kind.
- A new ministry opportunity I had no idea would be in my future.
- My health is being restored by the great Jehovah Rappha.
- I’m able to run again for the first time in almost three years.
- XL exam gloves that I can fit on my head.
- New friendships.
- Old friendships that continue to grow stronger through the ups and downs of life.
- Restored relationships.
- Books. There are never enough.
- Knowing my father is in Heaven.
- A step-father who loves Jesus.
- Financial healing.
- Dave Ramsey’s Financial Peace University.
- Joyce Meyer’s boldness to speak truth into my life.
- My new dog Shatzi, even though she’s deaf.
- The worship band at Woodland Hills Family Church.
- The new Darlene Zschech album, “Revealing Jesus.”
- ALO with green tea
- The fan noise on my iPad
- My 12 year old cousin, Caleb, who is growing faster than he should be allowed to.
- Hand Sanitizer
- Flip-flops
- Evernote. It organizes my life.
- The Circle Maker by Mark Batterson. This book will change your life, at least once.
- The ability to read through the Bible in chronological order. It’s wow!
- My small group, who meet every Monday night to study God’s Word together. We laugh a lot.
- Dropbox. It too makes my life more organized and easier.
- Massage Therapy. At times it’s for fun, but it’s been key in my healing.
- My chiropractor. He’s a man who serves Jesus with all his heart and has helped restore me back to health in so many way.
The list could probably go on. I have so many things to be grateful for.
You see, I may be sitting in the ER right now, but I’m doing it with a smile. Why? Because I know Satan has plans to derail me and the calling God has put on my life. He must not know me well, because I’m a fighter.
I will smile. I will praise God. And I will remember I am in one heck of a spiritual battle.
Guess what? Jesus wins!
What are you thankful for today? Leave a comment below…
