A few years ago I had a friend who one day was no longer my friend.
When I met her she was a prayer warrior. I loved to hear her pray and she was such an encourager.
But as time went on, there was this check in my gut that I didn’t pay attention to. That was actually Holy Spirit, but I confused it for indigestion. Bad idea. I let her see vulnerable parts of my life that not everyone got to see. I called her when I was struggling with some things. She prayed for me. She even drove down a few times to just have dinner.
I could never shake that feeling in my gut. BUT… I didn’t listen to it. I just kept moving forward, allowing her even more space in my life and ministry.
Then one day it was too late to pay attention to my gut. She went from prayer warrior to attacking me with her words and actions. She led an attack against me that I’ve rarely spoken about publicly.
The enemy used her to try and destroy my soul. Deep words, I know, but it’s true. Unfortunately, she chose to allow the devil to use her. He almost won.
But he didn’t…
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When I was able to stand up again and take a semi-deep breath, I put boundaries in place. She was no longer allowed to be part of my life in any way. I blocked her phone number. I blocked her from social media. I stopped answering emails. I set firm boundaries that I knew were saving my life.
Do I hate her? No.
Have I forgiven her? Yes. 3,654 1/2 times. Sometimes a memory will pop up and I have to re-forgive, because forgiveness is a choice, not a feeling.
Do I pray for her? Yes.
Forgiveness is NOT always reconciliation.
Sometimes it is. But I think sometimes we get confused and think that when we forgive we’re automatically called to reconcile with that person. That’s not true.
If someone is harming you, forgiveness is a requirement, but reconciliation is not.
If someone is toxic, forgiveness is a requirement, but continuing to allow that person to spew toxicity into your life is not.
Forgiveness is NOT always reconciliation.
Don’t be afraid to say, “No more. No more do you get to hurt me. Not more do you get to speak those words to me. No more do you get to attempt to destroy me. No more. “
And you can say those words with a clean heart.
You can set boundaries without hate.
Forgiveness is NOT always reconciliation.