The more I get to know people, the more I learn that we all have a past. Though they don’t always look the same, we each have something in our lives that we have allowed to define us.
photo credit: alamodestuff (creative commons)
Up until three years ago, I thought my past was my past and that’s just the way it was. The depths of my sexual abuse couldn’t really be dealt with; they just were what they were. I would always be abandoned by my father and I simply needed to accept it.
Wrong.
The truth was, I wasn’t allowing myself to be delivered from those things. They were defining me. My name is Sundi Jo and I’m a victim of sexual abuse, rape, and abandonment. I have a father that loved whiskey more than me. I try to be really tough on the outside, but I’m scared to death on the inside. No one can possibly ever love me. There’s nothing about me to love.
I had to learn that though I may have been a victim of many circumstances, I didn’t have to stay a victim. I was making a choice to stay that way.
I was reading in 1 Samuel 17 recently about David facing Goliath. Just a young boy, he was prepared to stand up to this giant because of his faith in knowing God would show up. He refused to feel defeated by the size of one man because he knew his God was bigger. He took him down with a slingshot. A slingshot! Is God cool or what?
Of course there were those that had their doubts. Some pipsqueek sheep farmer wasn’t going to have the strength to take down a giant. They were right. David didn’t have the strength, but God did. David knew God would show up, because he had seen it happen time and time again.
The Lord who delivered me from the paw of the lion and the paw of the bear will deliver me from the hand of this Philistine. – 1 Samuel 17:37
I was reminded again recently that the Lord delivered me from the lion of sexual abuse. He delivered me from the bear of abandonment. Those things no longer define me. Though my past will be used, and is being used, to bring others hope in their circumstances, God is showing me that those are not the titles that label me.
I have new labels:
- I am a child of God
- The King is enthralled with my beauty
- He loves me with an everlasting love
- I have been cleansed from all unrighteousness
- I am white as snow
- He will never leave me
I challenge you today to hold up the slingshot and throw the stones at those giants of lies in your life. I encourage you to learn the truth about what defines you today, not yesterday.
What are the lions and bears God has delivered you from? Share below…
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I was reading a Beth Moore devotion recently when she contrasted our past pain in terms of preservation or restoration. God doesn’t want to preserve the ruin; He wants to restore and rebuild. I thought that was a beautiful word picture of our crumbled hearts and His desire for us to move past and build a new legacy.
Love that Kristin. So true.
Wonderful to read this, Sundi Jo. I’m so glad to hear what God is doing in your life.
Thanks Barb.
The last thing I’ll do is look at myself like a victim. It’s much easier and more enjoyable to focus on right now. Good stuff 🙂
Great J.R. Thrilled you’re keeping the focus on God.
Davids story of overcoming that giant is one of my life’s inspirations. I spent so much of my life believing I was nothing. I truly believed I had no value and despised myself for all my failures and inadequacies. I kept a running list in my head and the enemy constantly reminded me of them. God came to me in a big way after a difficult time when I was completely broken and at my lowest. It was a process that took place over a few years. But I came out of it with the truth’s you listed in your post. God loves me exactly as I am! He values me and my purpose in Him and will not leave me! His purpose for me will be fulfilled! I am beautiful to Him! I am completely forgiven and He has cast my sins as far as the east is from the west! I have found my true love in Him! I have accomplished things I never thought I could and dream of doing so much more without letting insecurities hold me back. With God I can do it!
Deb,
I’m so thrilled for the BIG things God has done in your life.