In the movie Nights in Rodanthe, Richard Gere and Diane Lane begin a whirlwind romance after he stays at her beach house bed and breakfast while visiting to rebuild a relationship with his estranged son. They fall in love and life looks as though it will be a happily ever after story.
After taking a mission trip overseas to provide medical care with his son, Dr. Paul Flanner, Gere’s character is killed. His son delivers the news to Adrienne Willis, Lane’s character. Of course she falls apart.
There’s a scene in the movie where Adrienne sits on the back deck of her North Carolina beach home staring out at the ocean full of devastation. Her best friend, Jean (Viola Davis) sits next to her. She then reaches out her hand and holds Adrienne’s. She didn’t say anything. She didn’t try to fix anything. She just sat in silence with her best friend and let her grieve. I love the true picture of friendship in that scene. It’s the best part of the movie, in my opinion.

I recently had one of those moments. I’ve been grieving through some things regarding my father. After watching a movie the other night, my emotions were pretty raw. As I sat in the bathroom sobbing, trying to compose myself, my best friend walked in. She didn’t try to get me to stop crying. She didn’t say anything to make me feel better.
She hugged me, put me to bed, and held my hand while I cried. It was exactly what I needed. I didn’t need words, I just needed her there. She didn’t try to fix my tears, she just let them flow. It created a new level of safety in our friendship.
I struggle with this. I like to fix things. If I see someone crying I think I should have some magical words to dry their tears. I need to make them laugh. I need to do something. But I don’t need to fix it all the time. There are times to make them laugh. There are times to speak words through their tears. Then, there’s time to just be still.
When you think about it, that’s actually freeing, knowing I don’t have to say anything. I don’t have to be in control. I don’t have to fix it all. I can just let it be and let my friend mourn as she needs to. All I need to do is simply hold out my hand, grab hers, and be still.
That’s the power of a silent friendship.
[reminder]Do you have a friend in your life who you can simply sit in silence with? [/reminder]