You’ve got some dirt in your past, right? Some of it was kicked up by your own poor choices and some was thrown in your face by others set out to hurt you.
First of all, I’m sorry. I’m sorry you’ve ever been hurt. I’m sorry for the words he spoke over you that cause you to wake up everyday questioning your identity. I’m sorry that you’ve been using the same coping mechanisms over and over again trying to prevent yourself from feeling the despair of being abandoned by your mother all those years ago. For whatever has happened to you, I’m sorry.
But here’s some hope I want to share with you. You can overcome your past. You can come up out of the dirt and be victorious in today, tomorrow, and the rest of your life. I promise you it’s possible because I’m living proof.
Here’s the thing though… you’re going to have to take a shovel and dig a little bit. And it’s going to hurt. And you’re going to have to feel. And you’re probably going to get angry, sad, angry again, and feel more emotions than you knew possible. But it’s worth it. It’s worth it, my friend. And you only have to do it one next right step at a time.
If you want to take control of your future, you’re going to have to resolve the past.
If there are some deep-rooted issues you’re trying to work through, I recommend seeking an outside source. Never be too proud to seek counseling. Shoot…. I counsel women all the time and still go to counseling. We’ve always got issues we’re working through.
In 1981 the United States Army created a powerful process called the After Action Review. It’s purpose is to connect past experiences with future action. It’s in this process God can take what’s been done to us and use it for the free future that awaits us.
Whether you’re looking back on the past year, week, or ten years of your life, the After Action Review is a good way to get started. Here are four steps to walk you through the process.
Step 1: State What You Wanted to Happen.
It’s important to think about those things you wanted to accomplish, whether you accomplished them or not. Take some time to write down what you had in mind.
In 2016 I wanted to finish the book I’d started. I wanted to get in better shape. I wanted to get the doors to Esther’s House opened. I wanted to pay off some hospital bills.
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Step 2: Acknowledge What Actually Happened.
Everything doesn’t always go as planned. Sometimes obstacles pop up we have no control over. Sometimes the complete opposite happens and we’re blessed beyond anything we could’ve imagined.
I didn’t get the book done. Instead of getting in to better shape I wound up with an illness I’m still recovering from months later. I experienced tragedies, deaths, and lots of disappointments. However, great things happened too. We got the door to Esther’s House opened and women are finding freedom as we speak.
The good comes with the bad and the bad comes with good. Regardless, it’s important for us to acknowledge it all.
Step 3: Learn From the Experience.
This is the biggie. No matter what’s happened, there’s always something to learn. Whether you just finished building a house, getting a new job, adopting a child, or making a recipe that totally failed or succeeded, ask yourself what you can learn from the experience.
[ctt template=”5″ link=”Ws92p” via=”yes” ]If you want to take control of your future, you’re going to have to resolve the past.[/ctt]
Regarding the sickness that knocked me to the curb for a bit, I learned so many valuable lessons. Actually, I’m still learning. I have to take care of myself to be able to take care of others. God has ginormous plans for me and I have to honor the one and only body I’ll ever have. I don’t have the same amount of energy everyone else has right now and I have to learn to walk in the parameters of that, not pretend I can do more than I’m really capable of.
Step 4: Adjust Your Behavior Based on What You’ve Learned.
This isn’t a lesson in behavior modification. I don’t believe in that. We have to get to the root of the issue first. But, in this case, adjusting your behavior is more about learning from your experience and asking yourself, Okay, what can I do differently this next time that I didn’t do last time?
As I’m learning how to take care of my body in this stage of life, I realize I can’t eat the same things everyone else eats. So, I can take small steps when dining out with friends and choose not to eat the rolls the waiter sets in front of me. What may be enjoyable for those around me is despair for me. I’m learning to be okay with that. Adjust my behavior in that way is preparing me for a great future.
Whether you’re overcoming a mound of dirt or a few pebbles that have been kicked your way, there’s always something to learn. Remember, you have to dig to overcome. It’s just the way it is.
But you can do it, my friend. I know you can. You can overcome whatever has been done to you. You can live in a future brighter than you ever imagined. You can conquer because God created you to do just that.