This is a guest post by Pilar Arsenec. She is a legal secretary by day and a writer by night. In her spare time she enjoys spending time with her family, reading, writing, singing and cooking. You can find her blog, Ordinary Servant at www.ordinaryservant.com.
In 1995, I was very ill. Doctors didn’t know what was wrong with me. I spent almost an entire year visiting different doctors and enduring a variety of tests. I remember sitting in yet another doctor’s office awaiting the test results. At this point, I was worried, hopeless and expecting the worst. I had reached the end of myself and began to pray.
photo credit: daintytime (creative commons)
In my prayer, I had made a promise to the Lord, that if He healed me, I would write for Him. God answered my prayer and performed a miracle. My results came back and everything was fine. I felt better too.
However, the promise I made that day is still looming. I am now 45 years old and I still haven’t written my story. I continue to hear the whisper of God nudging me to write. But I also hear other voices.
These voices are relentless, loud and fierce. Their names are Fear and Doubt. They have been my faithful companions through the years in my battle to write.
Fear tells me, “You can’t do it,” while Doubt says, “You aren’t good enough.”
I have prayed consistently to try to silence their voices. But to no avail. I finally cried out to the Lord, What I should do? He said, “Write my answer.” I thought to myself, what does the Lord mean by this?
Fear and Doubt continued to make it impossible for me. They bombarded and taunted me with their threats.
You will never measure up to any of the great writers. You shouldn’t even bother trying to write. You’re not a good writer. You’re not even good enough. You know how many other people are better than you? You think you can write? Why don’t you doyourself a favor and give up already?
I slowly felt myself caving in… perhaps they are right. Maybe I should give up.
It was in that moment, the Holy Spirit showed up and encouraged me to resist the voices of Fear and Doubt. He did so by reminding me of His precious promises:
- I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. (Philippians 4:13)
- We are more than conquerors through him that loved us. (Romans 8:37)
- We sit together in heavenly places in Christ Jesus. (Ephesians 2:6)
- I knew you before I formed you in your mother’s womb. (Jeremiah 1:5)
- I have loved you with an everlasting love. (Jeremiah 31:3)
- Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. (Philippians 4:6)
- Everything is possible for him who believes. (Mark 9:23)
- Have faith in God. (Mark 11:22)
- If you have faith like a grain of mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there,’ and it will move, and nothing will be impossible for you.” (Matthew 17:20)
My mind, heart and spirit were overtaken by His love and filled with His peace. Fear and Doubt were silenced by His Word. It was then I realized, His answer was written on the tablet of my heart all along.
And, once again, FEAR is the topic for the day, week, month…Yikes! Thank you for sharing, Pilar. I have had to get the end of myself and make the decision to trust God with each new challenge and season. Why can’t it be like riding a bike and we just get it the first time?! Great encouragement, Pilar
I wish it was so my dear friend. I wish it was that easy. But what’s wonderful is we are not alone. We are in a wonderful community of believers and writers… and by the grace of God, we shall overcome! Thanks for commenting. 🙂
Thank you for having me Sundi.
Fear and Doubt are such a horrible 1-2 punch of demons. I know it’s probably totally wrong to do it but I picture them showing up looking like Agent Smith from The Matrix. Thankfully, Jesus is stronger than Neo ever was… 😉
Amen, amen. So true. 🙂
Great reminder Pilar! Thanks
Thank you so much for commenting.
Fear & doubt are terrible companions. Fear rarely raises its voice these days, but doubt is constantly telling me that I can’t do one thing or another. Insecurity also chimes in and tells me that no one cares if I write or even existed for that matter. Sometimes, in the midst of the loud, chaotic mess of thoughts in my head, I hear that one still small voice calling out, “I have a plan and purpose for you. I love you.”
I’m looking forward to the day when the other voices are dispelled & all I ever hear is the Father’s. What a wonderful day that will be!
I’m also looking forward to hearing your story. Write, my friend, write. Your story is waiting to be heard. 🙂