I woke up this morning with a task list in my head of things I wanted to get done. I had been productive two days in a row, and was pumped to do it again. After reading some devotions, I posted on my Facebook status that I wanted to be real today. I have no idea where the thought came from; it popped into my head and so I posted it.
My friend instant messaged me later this morning, telling me to prepare myself because she had a few assignments for my heart. I have learned over the past six months that when she usually tells me something like that, I better listen. It seems when God is trying to talk to me, He tends to do it through her quite often.
She called me with the assignment that I was to bless someone today who had hurt me in the past. I had her repeat herself again just to confirm what I was hoping she hadn’t said. I was to bless someone who had mistreated me. Was she serious? Was God serious? I sat there for a moment, then I read Luke 6. I read it again, then went for a walk. I was determined to avoid this subject and focus on my task list for the day.
Halfway through the day I let her know I was avoiding the subject, and she kindly let me know that perhaps it wasn’t such a great idea to rebel against God. Perhaps she was right. I read Luke 6 again. Who was I supposed to bless? Was I supposed to make a list of those who had hurt me? I didn’t want to be reminded of that. I definitely wanted to rebel against God at this point, and slap her for bringing it up.
Here I sit at Panera on a Thursday evening, drowning my thoughts with carbs. I haven’t blessed anyone, and today’s task list has barely been touched. I’m thinking I’ve figured out the reason behind that. For the record, I have swallowed my pride and asked God to forgive me for being such a pain in His butt.
One task I did accomplish today, being real. I didn’t work on my Bible study this morning, I didn’t get half the things done I wanted to, and I didn’t work on the assignment God put on my heart. Does it get more real than that?
Tomorrow: Blessing someone who has hurt me. After that, figuring out where to go from there.