The words of Brandon Heath’s “I’m not who I was” is rolling around in my head.
This weekend I was reminded by an old friend whom I haven’t seen in years about some things of my past – some not so great things. He brought memories back to me that I wasn’t proud of. Flashbacks filled my mind as I read his words to me. As he laughed about those memories, my heart broke and I started to let shame fill my soul.
As the color drained from my face and I fought to hold the tears back, God reminded me that I had two choices:
- Let the devil steal my joy
- Move forward and remember the forgiveness I have received
For a brief moment I chose option one.
Only for a moment…
For the past few days I have been thinking about the grace and forgiveness God has given me. Undeserved grace. All the things I have done in my past and He still loves me. Wow!
Ten years ago I had a dream to run my own business. Do you know what I wanted to do?
I wanted to own my own porn shop.
No joke..
I had it all planned out. The name. All of it. Guess what else?
I made those plans while I wore a cross necklace around my neck.
I had no idea what I was doing. I had no clue how deep into darkness I was. But today I realize. God pulled me out of a pit that I didn’t even realize I was in.
It’s amazing how our dreams change as God changes us.
Today I dream of sharing Jesus with hurting women. I dream of traveling the world sharing my testimony. I dream of millions of hurting people reading my book. Not for my glory, but for God’s.
2 Corinthians 5:17 reads,
Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come!
Can I get a resounding amenah?!?