Today is a powerful day of reflection for me.
Two years ago today I experienced fear at a different level. Two years ago today I experienced God’s grace at a different level.
Two years ago today I left my job in an ambulance. It was the first public migraine spell I’d had since the mold. I’d always had them around people who knew how to tell they were coming on and could help me prepare. It was humiliating, scary, and humbling.
There are other parts of the story that God and I are still holding onto together, but perhaps someday we’ll talk about it.
Two years ago today I was working as the Assistant GM at Taco Bell. Never in a million years did I think that would be on my resume. But I was trying to take a break from ministry, heal from some wounds, and in the mean time, bills didn’t take a break from my burnout.
I hated the job. Hated. Every single day I asked God for the strength to go to work. And every single day He answered my prayer. Sometimes I would go to the bathroom and cry on my break, asking for more strength to get through my shift.
But God wastes nothing.
In the midst of it, I made some fun friendships.
In the midst of it, while people who were once for me whispered in my ear that I would never be capable of leading again – and shouted it to others around me – I was leading a team of people who sometimes just needed to hear that they mattered while they wrapped some crunchy tacos for customers.
In the midst of it, I prayed for hurting people.
In the midst of it, I exposed another leader for the sexual predator he was, hopefully saving others from being sexually assaulted like he had done to others.
In the midst of it, I grew closer to God, depending on Him for every single moment, sometimes not even knowing how to pray, but just begging Him to help me every single moment.
God wastes nothing.
Last week as I drove home from meeting the Governor, I was emotional. Not because I was starstruck. Not because I felt like I’d met a celebrity. No, because I remembered this time two years ago, when I was working at Taco Bell, begging God to help me get through each day, then leaving in an ambulance.
I remembered this time two years ago when His grace was so prevalent in my life and I had no idea what HIs next move was. Then, here I stood, shaking hands with the Governor, calling it my job.
God wastes nothing.
Grace.