Someone asked me the other day, “Is it really necessary for me to confess my sins to someone else when I’ve already confessed them to God?” That’s a really great question, so I thought we could talk about it here on the blog.
Let me first say this. Is confessing your sins to someone else a requirement for salvation? No. It’s not going to keep you from heaven. But I can tell you this.. It’s going to keep you from being healed and set free.
Let’s dig into the Scripture, because that’s where we’ll always find the right answer.
James 5:16 says….
“Confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed.
The earnest prayer of a righteous person has great power and produces wonderful results.”
Everything we need to know takes place right there in that powerful statement from our brother James. So. That. You. May. Be. Healed. The Amplified Bible amps it up even more. (See what I did there…)
Therefore, confess your sins to one another [your false steps, your offenses], and pray for one another, that you may be healed and restored.
Healing and restoration come when we get real and raw. They come when we take off our masks of shame, insecurity, pride, etc. Healing comes when we allow Jesus to come into the darkest of darkest places in our hearts and say, “Let me show you where I am in this moment. Let me heal you, my child.” Healing comes in community and God didn’t design us to do live by ourselves. He designed us to be in relationship with one another.
Healing and restoration come when we confess. More importantly, healing and restoration come when we confess to the right people. Safe people. Christ-like people. Praying people. Grace-filled people. When that confession happens, it’s our role as the body of Christ to gently and humbly help that person back onto the right path.
I heard these powerful words in a sermon from Pastor Tim Ross a few weeks ago…
“Those who confess vertically and not horizontally don’t get fully healed.”
Read that again and soak it in, because it’s truth. When we only confess our sins to God, but not to someone else, we won’t get fully healed. Let me add my two cents to that statement. When we don’t confess our sins to someone else, we will NEVER be fully healed and restored.
We confess our sins to God (vertically) for forgiveness. We confess our sins to another (horizontally) for healing.
[ctt template=”3″ link=”Hdba3″ via=”yes” ]“Those who confess vertically and not horizontally don’t get fully healed.”[/ctt]
What if my confession is humiliating?
First of all, there’s nothing you’ve done God can’t handle. He’s God. He already knew you were going to do it before you did it. Secondly, the person He leads you to confess to, He wouldn’t put in your life if they were going to humiliate you. Though your sin may be humiliating for a moment, there’s something so powerful about getting those words out. It’s like a weight taken off your shoulder. You don’t have to carry it around anymore.
When I confessed all the sexual sin I had been involved with, I felt humiliated. I was embarrassed and full of shame. I knew I’d been forgiven, but there was still so much shame tied to my decisions, my sins. Once I finally gained the courage to speak those sins out loud, it was liberating. They were no longer stored inside this secret vault that was destroying me. They were out in the open, with someone safe. I waited for condemnation, but instead received grace. I was healed and I was restored.
When Not Confessing Becomes an Excuse
“Confessing one’s sins to someone – even someone we trust – is never easy because it means becoming vulnerable; it means admitting we need help. In a world that exalts individual achievement and despises weakness, revealing one’s sins to another feels extremely uncomfortable. Then there is the fear of gossip which can so quickly circulate, especially in tight-knit Christian groups.
But all this can be an excuse, a copout for not really turning away from sin. Hiding behind our Christianity, we keep our sin secret, not because we feel forgiven but because we fear wounded pride. Self-righteousness and the desire to look good have become so entrenched in us that instead of being the sinners we are, we lock ourselves behind a spiritual façade of our own making – a prison that keeps us isolated from each other and from God.” – Johnny Fransham – The Uncomfortable but Liberating Gift of Openness
I couldn’t have said it better myself, Johnny. Where God’s light is present, darkness cannot exist. When we choose to hold onto our sins, for whatever reasons, we’re choosing to stay in the darkness. When we choose to stay in the darkness, we will never be healed. When we don’t choose healing and restoration, we cannot walk in the life God has designed for us. When we choose darkness, we’re making the choice to walk in direct disobedience to God. That’s a fact, Jack.
Do I Confess Every Single Thing?
Yes and no. Did I just make that confusing? Let me explain.
Is it important for you to confess the sins of your past to someone safe? Yes. Leave no stone unturned. Write them out on a list if it’s easier for you.
Do you need to confess the sin you committed yesterday? Perhaps. Using myself for example. A few weeks ago I found myself caught up in the sin of gluttony. I didn’t just eat poorly. I committed a sin. First, I confessed it to God, repented, and asked for His help to continue walking in repentance (thinking differently). Secondly, I confessed it to someone safe in my life. They prayed for me and with me. That was a sin that needed confessed so that I could speak it out loud, tell the shame to kiss my toe, and find healing and restoration.
[ctt template=”3″ link=”3DYdd” via=”yes” ]When we choose to stay in the darkness, we will never be healed. [/ctt]
The other day I found myself having a lustful thought, but I caught myself in the midst of thinking it. Because Holy Spirit is in me, I knew that thought didn’t line up with God’s will for my life. So, what did I do? I took that rebellious thought captive and gave it back to Christ. There was nothing more I needed to do.
But say I continue to have those thoughts. Say I struggle with drinking and I continuously have thoughts of going to the bar. Sin always starts in our thoughts. We don’t just make a move and show up to sin. We think about it first. If I’m not taking those thoughts captive, they will turn into sin. It’s vital I confess those thoughts and struggle to someone safe. If I speak those thoughts out loud, they will lose their power.
If you’re not following the advice James gives, you’re missing out my friend. You’re missing healing. You’re missing restoration. You’re missing out on freedom. And what did Jesus come to do? Set. Us. Free.
You get to make the decision whether you get set free or stay captive. No one can make it for you. Which will you choose today?
I pray you find someone safe. I pray you courageously storm through the lies and feelings of humiliation so you can get to the other side of truth and healing. I pray you stand firm against the enemy and decide this is the last day you will stay stuck.
You and Jesus can do this, my friend. I’m rooting for you!