If I could pick a theme for 2018, I’m just not sure what it would be. Perhaps grace. Ya, Grace. That was, after all, my one word for 2018. To read my one word for 2019, check out this blog post.
• I started 2018 out leaving work in an ambulance.
• A close friend died.
• I watched man close a ministry God called me to.
• I cussed at God in anger, fear and heartbreak.
• I got on my knees and surrendered to Him again.
• I listened to rumors from people who I thought were once for me, and I bit a hole in my lip and wore out my knees praying for God to be my deliverer and defender.
• I was approached with an opportunity for a dream job in Nashville, but it didn’t pan out.
• I cried again to God, trying to understand why He would keep me here.
• I got on my knees and surrendered to Him again.
• I struggled with debilitating anxiety and panic attacks that left me feeling hopeless.
• I watched a friend spiritually die before my very eyes and there was nothing I could do about it.
• I watched that friend come back to life before my very eyes and surrender to God.
• I watched a friend go through one devastating event after another and there was nothing I could do about it.
• I watched that friend’s faith grow stronger each day and inspire me to draw closer to God.
• I gained weight, lost weight, and gained weight again.
• I dug deeper into spiritual warfare like never before, recognizing just how much the enemy was set out to destroy me.
• I was knocked down by the words and actions of people I trusted and wasn’t sure if I could get back up.
• I was told I’d never have the capability to lead or love others.
• I got back up.
• I set boundaries and stopped being afraid to say “no” to those who hurt me.
• I sat on the porch with my grandparents and laughed for the first time in a long time.
• I found time again to invest in relationships.
• I felt like I could breathe again for the first time in a long time.
• I dug deeper into another level of overcoming rejection.
• I got a new job working with people who needed a second chance – who needed love and leadership.
• I was promoted 4 months later with an opportunity to literally set the prisoners free. (Isaiah 61)
• I left my church.
• I visited multiple churches and fellowshipped with both strangers and people I knew.
• I lost a deep relationship with a family member I loved.
• I watched God repair a broken friendship that I didn’t expect.
• My step-grandfather died.
• I cooked my step-dad breakfast because that’s the kind of love he needed in his time of grieving.
• I met the man I thought I would marry.
• I said goodbye to the man I thought I would marry.
• I played air guitar on New Year’s Eve.
• Most importantly, sometime in 2018, I remembered WHO I WAS IN CHRIST and started living my life again from that place.
• I rose out of the ashes and started living again.
Ya, Grace.
What was your theme for 2018?