My name is Sundi Jo and I’ve been set free from codependency. Multiple times.
Just last week at Celebrate Recovery, I was knocked in the gut with another powerful statement that brought even more freedom in my recovery.
The gentlemen sharing his testimony completely changed my perspective on the words I say to myself and others.

He said, “I used to have the ‘should’ves'”.
“I should stay late at work and help finish this project.”
“I should clean my house.”
“I should go to the grocery store.”
Insert your own should here….

Shifting Our Perspective on Codependency

He suggested changing our “I should haves” to “I prefer to.”
Oh. My. Goodness! That makes so much sense!
[callout]Did you know when you shop through Amazon Smile, a portion of your sale will be donated back to Esther’s House of Redemption to help us offer hope to broken women? Click here to start shopping.[/callout]
Instead of “I should stay late at work and help finish this project,” you could say, “I prefer to stay at work and finish this project because I’ll feel better once it’s done.”
Or… Instead of “I should clean my house,” you could say, “I prefer to clean my house because when it’s clean I feel better about myself, not what others will think of it.”
Shifting these two words causes us to take responsibility for our own lives, not allowing others to dictate what we do or putting an expectation on ourselves that we really don’t have to.
Did I mention? Oh. My. Goodness! That makes so much sense!
[Tweet “Shifting these two important words causes us to take responsibility for our own lives.”]
We’re much happier people when we’re making decisions for ourselves and not other people. Well… I am anyway.
When I’m taking responsibility for things in my life versus turning everything into an obligation I’m a nicer person to be around. I’m not carrying everyone else’s weight on my shoulders. I’m not trying to make everyone happen. I’m not “should’veing” my life way. (Yep.. that’s a word.) Instead, I’m actually living, and enjoying doing so.
Oh… the freedom in being free from codependency. Let’s write a song about it.
[reminder]How can you see shifting these two words around changing perspective for you? [/reminder]