by | Book Reviews, Books, Life Application
I have an addiction to reading. It’s pretty bad, actually. I would rather eat ramen noodles so I can buy books. (Okay, I’m not that desperate, but you get the point.)
I get made fun of all the time for saying, “You need to read this book. It’ll change your life.” It’s usually pretty much true. Every book you read will change your life in one way or another, whether for the right or wrong reasons. I can’t imagine my life without a book in my hand.
Harry S. Truman, 33rd President of the United States, once said, “Not all readers are leaders, but all leaders are readers.” It’s true. Though not everyone is called to a level of leadership like Truman, everyone is called to keep growing and learning. When you read, you grow. You can share that quote and give me credit. 🙂
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by | Faith Lived Out, Life Application
I’m currently working on creating some curriculum I’ll be teaching for a brand new program the Missouri Department of Corrections is unrolling. I’m beyond excited! I literally get to be a part of watching Isaiah 61 unfold as I watch the release from darkness for the prisoners.
As I was focusing on the life-planning section of the curriculum, my heart was heavy and emotional thinking about two people whose lives both ended in very different ways. I decided to share the story with you, too.
I want to tell you a story about two men I knew, Sandy and Doug.
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by | Faith Lived Out, Life Application
If I could pick a theme for 2018, I’m just not sure what it would be. Perhaps grace. Ya, Grace. That was, after all, my one word for 2018. To read my one word for 2019, check out this blog post.
• I started 2018 out leaving work in an ambulance.
• A close friend died.
• I watched man close a ministry God called me to.
• I cussed at God in anger, fear and heartbreak.
• I got on my knees and surrendered to Him again.
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by | Life Application
Hey friend. I know we’re not friends yet, but I thought I’d say it anyway. Maybe someday we will be. Maybe someday we’ll sit down over coffee and laugh and cry with one another.
Before we make it to coffee, though, there are a couple things I’d love to say.
First of all, I’m sorry for where you’ve been and where you are.
I’m sorry. I’m sorry for the numerous times you’ve been exposed to the darkness of that world, whether by your own accord or by force. I’m truly sorry.
Maybe you’re thinking, how can you say you’re sorry for me for something I’ve done to myself? I can say it because I mean it. Because I know that though you think that’s where you want to be, or where you deserve to be, that it’s not really where you want to be.
I realize we don’t know each other, but here’s what I can say I know about you. I know without a doubt you didn’t wake up one day and say, “I can’t wait to be a porn star. I can’t wait to defile my body in front of millions of people. I can’t wait to get paid for having sex. I can’t wait to wonder if my parents or my children will someday see what I’ve done.”
Whatever the circumstances are that lead us each individually down the road of darkness, deep down inside none of us want to be there. We can lie to ourselves all day long, but someday the truth will come to the surface.
So, I’m sorry. I’m sorry you feel like you’re stuck in a place that you’ll never get out of. I’m sorry for whomever has hurt you. I’m sorry that you think there’s nothing better for you in this life than the path you have chosen. I’m sorry for the never ending cycle of destruction you feel stuck in because you can’t see past the fog enough to know there is another world out there – a world of hope.
That fog can be lifted, my friend. That heaviness that keeps sucking you back into the very world you hate can be removed. That shame that you can’t seem to scrub off yourself can be washed away. I promise.
I know you don’t know me, so for me to make that promise to you probably makes you roll your eyes. That’s ok. I’m going to say it anyway, because whether you trust me or not, I know it to be truth.
Secondly, Will you forgive me?
With all of my heart, I am sorry. I’m sorry for what I’ve done to you. I’m sorry for exposing you. I’m sorry for the pain I have caused. God has forgiven me, I know. I have forgiven myself. But today I seek your forgiveness. You see, for years I was exposed to your world, too, but on the other side.
My name is Sundi Jo and I was pornography addict for almost 20 years. At 5 years old I was forced to watch it by a babysitter, and from that day foreword my life was never the same. That world sucked me in and I began to normalize it, assuming it was the way it was supposed to be, yet knowing deep down inside that something about it wasn’t okay. I didn’t know how to get out. I didn’t know who to tell. I didn’t know if I would ever be free.
Have you felt like that, too? I’ve always been a question asker, trying to understand the why behind things. As a teenager I would watch you and wonder what was going through your mind. Were you scared? Were you enjoying it? Is this what you wanted to be when you grew up?
Oh, my friend, we were both so broken. I even had a dream to open up my own pornography store. I had the name written down in a drawer. I was planning to make a living off of your shame. I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry.
I found a way out.
I know the last thing you probably want to hear about right now is Jesus, but I need you to listen. I need you to toss the bitterness aside for a minute and listen to me. It was only Jesus who set me free. It was only Jesus who helped me see I had more value than what I was doing to myself.
It was only Jesus who said, “I don’t care what you’ve done in the past, I still choose you.” I won’t beat you over the head with a bunch of scripture, but when you’re ready to sit down for coffee, I’ll be excited to share. I
don’t know for sure, but I would bet the one thing we have in common is shame. You see, shame led me to continue exposing myself to your world. Shame told me I couldn’t tell anyone because they would judge me. Shame sent me back time and time again. My shame fed into your shame. I’m so sorry.
[ctt template=”3″ link=”3kiyp” via=”yes” ]No one has dreams as a child about being a porn star, an alcoholic, drug addict, prostitute, or porn addict. No one.[/ctt]
I would bet it’s shame that sent you there in the first place. If you’re still stuck in that world, I’m betting shame tells you that you can’t get out. I bet shame tells you that you’ll never amount to anything and this is what you deserve. Shame tells you that you’re too dirty to ever be truly loved.
My friend, shame is a liarl
Listen to me. You are still a daughter. A grand daughter. Perhaps you’re a sister. An aunt. Maybe even a mother. Your choices don’t take that away from you. Listen to me. It’s not too late for you to get out. It’s not too late for you to be free. It’s not too late for you.
Listen to me. You are valuable. You matter. You’re important. You. Are. Valuable.
Love, Sundi Jo
by | Book Reviews, Life Application
It was about this time last year I fell off the cliff. I burned out, but I couldn’t see it. I couldn’t wrap my mind around what was happening.
Have you ever left for work early in the morning only to find you couldn’t even go the speed limit because the fog was so heavy? So you just turn your headlights on and trek your way through as much as you can, barely able to see in front of you.
That’s what it felt like for me.
I couldn’t see anymore. I couldn’t think past the fog. I felt like I had failed at everything, and failed everyone. I had no hope left. But I couldn’t figure out why. I couldn’t understand.
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by | Life Application
I come from the coolest, craziest family ever: The Woolley’s. Oh ya… We even have a theme song. You haven’t seen dancing until you’ve seen a group of people get down to Wooly Bully.
And when one of our own graduates, you can bet we’re the loudest peeps in the auditorium. My sweet cousin Crista recently graduated and took the stage as the Salutatorian, giving a speech that’ll knock your socks off. Not only that, but she walked away with a full scholarship to a 4-year university, where she plans to major in Psychology and offer hope to hurting people. Ask me if I’m proud.
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