by | Life Application
photo credit: flickr (creative commons)
Last week I shared Principle One from one of my all time favorite books Today We are Rich: Harnessing The Power of Total Confidence by Tim Sanders.
Principle number two is perhaps my all-time favorite, as Sanders tells a story in there that I hope to never soon forget. In case you’re not familiar with the book, it’s based on some great insight from his Grandma Billie.
Principle Two: Move the Conversation Forward
“Criticisms are like pecans. You can’t swallow a pecan whole, can you? You’d never be able to properly digest it. That’s what a nutcracker is for. Crack open the pecan; then you can get at the edible portion.
Do you struggle when someone gives you criticism, whether good or bad? A thousand thoughts fill your mind. I’m not good enough. My boss is going to replace me. My husband doesn’t love me anymore. I’m a failure.
What if we treated criticism just like a pecan? Surely we can get something from every nut we crack open. Maybe your boss didn’t confront you the way you would like, but what can you learn from it? Your husband does love you, but you may have just received a dose of truth that you’re not perfect. You didn’t fail; you could just do better at a certain task.
Eat the nut, the part of the situation you can learn from. Toss the shell, the rest of the information that doesn’t matter and serves as no nutritional value.
I bet we would all be surprised at the room we allowed to let other positive information in if we weren’t holding on so tightly to those shells. I love what Tim says,
“You can always find a good bite in any information, even intense criticism. It says something about its author or about you–every time.
What step can you take today to toss the shell? Leave a comment below…
by | Faith Lived Out, Life Application
photo credit: flickr(creative commons)
I have a friend who used to say that God would redeem the time lost for many of our mistakes, and the times we chose to follow our own ways versus His. I’ve thought about that statement many times since then.
She was right..
I had a friend who struggled with alcoholism for years. It stole many things from her, including precious time with her children. When I met her, the relationship with her children was indeed broken. She was getting help. But she had done that before. This time couldn’t be any different in their eyes. But she knew inside that this time something was different. She was surrendered. She was ready. Jesus was calling her closer and this time she was accepting the call.
I watched her go through the struggle of not just staying sober, but finding freedom. I watched her shed many tears in her fight. She used my shoulder to cry on when there were days she wasn’t sure she could make. She would get off the phone with one of her children and guilt would slap her in the face. Shame would fill her soul. Could relationships truly ever be redeemed? God said so. We just had to believe. I did my best to believe with her.
Fast forward..
Not only has my freind celebrated two years of sobriety, but today she is celebrating freedom. She talks weekly with all three of her chidlren. God brought her a husband she wasn’t looking for. She smiles, not just on the outside, but the inside too.
She called me recently and I could hear the tears in her voice. They were happy tears. One of her daughters had just given birth to a beautiful little girl. My friend held her daughter’s hand as God brougth another blessing into the world. There was a time when unforgivenss and hurt separated them. Not anymore. There was love. There was forgiveness. There was hope.
She said to me, “Sundi Jo, I don’t deserve any of this, but God keeps blessing me. I got to be in the room to watch my daughter give birth. I’m so overwhelmed I can’t belive it.”
I told her with a smile,
“God redeemed the time. You always said He would.
I write this to you today to offer you hope. Wherever you’re at in life right now, God can work. If you let Him.
Has an affair separated you from the one you vowed to always love?
Did you spew hurtful words on your child after refusing to put down that drink?
Do you believe you’ve screwed up so badly that you can never turn back?
Wrong..
There is nothing that Jesus can’t fix if you’re are willing to find the freedom that He offers. Don’t hold back. Go for it. Tell Him you’re ready. Tell Him you want to be ready. Tell Him to make you ready. He’s always up for a challenge!
Our Redeemer Lives!
What do you need to give to Him today to start the redemption process? Comment below…
by | Life Application
photo credit: robinjp (creative commons)
I know you’ve heard that phrase before. I’m sure you’ve said it before. I know I have.
- People make you feel stupid
- Someone made you mad
- He made me watch that stupid show
- She made me go shopping
- They made her cry
You get the point. I used to think that way. People were always making me do something. One day a few years ago I was walking with a friend, venting about a job interview I had. It didn’t go the way I wanted.
“He made me feel like an idiot.
I’ll never forget her looking at me and saying, “People can’t make you feel. You choose to feel that way.” I was not impressed with her answer! Why? Because she was right.
Others can’t make you feel something…
If they could then you wouldn’t be in control of yourself. Others would be running your life for you. God didn’t make us for others to control our lives, and that includes our emotions and the way we feel about things.
So, if I choose to feel stupid it’s because I’m not believing the truth about who I am. Who am I? Who are you? Check out this list to help you. If I get mad, it’s because I choose to do so. If you watch a show with your husband you don’t enjoy, it’s your choice. Maybe do it because you love him, not because you feel you have to. The same goes for you men when shopping with your wife.
Our emotions can control us or we can control them. Either way we go, we are making a choice.
What will you choose to feel today? Comment below…
by | Life Application
We’ve all been on a diet at one time or another in our lives. I have certainly done my fair share of riding the diet train. It’s gotten me nowhere. It wasn’t until I began to change my lifestyle that things were different. I started to pay attention to what I was putting in my body. I still try to follow this plan today. (Confession: I ate a piece of cake today that was full of sugar and delicious at the moment. However, my body later told me what a mistake that was.) I am learning to listen to what my body does and does not like.
The same should go for our minds. We see and hear so many things throughout each day that we must be on alert as to what we feed our minds. Tim Sanders, author of Today We are Rich: Harnessing The Power of Total Confidence, says,
“People who maintain purposeful mind diets of positive stimuli think healthy thoughts.
When we think, we act. Our actions create events. Those events shape our lives. Sanders shares seven principles to becoming more confident in your life. Principle number one is Feeding Your Mind Good Stuff.
If I were to come up and ask you today if you were taking advantage of the full confidence available to you, what would you say?
Yes. No. Maybe.
Here are some steps Sanders gives us to Feed Our Minds Good Stuff:
- Keep A Mind Food Journal – For the next two weeks record everything that you do. That includes anything you are reading, listening to, or watching. (Yes.. Facebook counts) Write down how much time you spent on it. This also includes anyone you spend time with. Note the way they acted. Was it positive? Negative? How much time did you spend with them? Then circle all the negative information on your log. Highlight all the positive information. If you have more circles than highlighted items you need to refocus your time. I admit I haven’t done this yet. Honestly, I think it’s because I’ll be afraid of what I learn.
- Filter Out The Negative – Avoid the news. Avoid gossip. Sanders call “gossip an acceptable form of pornography that is hurtful.” Ouch. If you feel you have to read or watch the news, simply glance at the negative things and focus on the positive. The same goes for the Internet. It’s very rare that I even turn the television on anymore. I don’t even want to risk allowing things in my mind that don’t belong. Does that mean watching TV is wrong? No. I just prefer not to.
- Mind Mood From The Vault – What are you thinking about? What are you focusing on? We need to be very aware of our memories and what we’re allowing ourselves to think about. If a bad memory is bringing itself up, spit it out quickly, just as I should have spit that sugar-filled piece of cake out. Tim gives a great tip: “Store the insight: delete the details.” Remember what you learned from it, but not every detail of the bad memory.
- Relaxing Your Mind – Oh how I struggle with this one. I’m getting better though. Move slowly when you wake up. Take your time and don’t be rushed. Oh how I’m writing this to myself. “At the end of your lunch hour, snatch five minutes of positive thought time to review what is going right and what positive things you’ll accomplish before the day’s end.”
Just like we don’t need to go on a diet, we don’t need to put our minds on a diet. We need to make a lifestyle change. Our minds need just as much nutrition as our body’s do. No Twinkies for the body. No negativity for the mind.
Which of these four do you feel like you have progressed in the most? Which of these do you need to improve most on? Comment below…
by | Life Application
Often times we think of the church as a building we visit on Sunday mornings. We gather for coffee, visit with friends in the foyer and catch up on the week. Then we worship in the sanctuary, listen to the pastor preach, shake hands with a few people and head home until next week.
That’s not church.
Church is what I experienced last night..
I sat around the living room with my small group. If you’re not familiar with that, a small group consists of various people, most of the time from the same church, that meet once a week to fellowship, do a Bible study, etc.
We do life..
Something was on my heart and I needed to process. They listened. They nodded. They smiled. They listened. Then they shared. Some of us had different opinions. We talked about religion and no one got mad and stomped off. See.. it is possible. They weren’t just giving feedback to hear themselves talk. They were sharing their opinions and feelings, as well as Scripture because they cared for me.
It was church…
If you aren’t involved yet, here are four reasons why you should be in a small group:
- Building Relationships – I attend church with 1200 other people. There is no way I will get to know everyone. But I have the opportunity to build deeper relationships with those inside my group. Because we grow together, I believe we can do greater things for the Kingdom of God.
- You Can Be Real – As time goes on and you continue to get to know those in your small group, you can be you. Too many times we put on our “Sunday Personalities” when we walk into the church door because people can’t really know we have issues in our life. Not so with a small group. The longer you’re part of the group, the more you come to know about each other.
- You Become Part of a Spiritual Family – I am closer to some of the peeps in my small group than I am my own family. I trust them. I feel free from judgment. I know they would be there for me when I need them.
- You See Scripture Lived Out – We are to be disciples of Christ. We challenge each other to live God’s Word and we have the blessed opportunity to see those truths come to life in each other.
Here’s what my friend Jennifer says about why we should be in a small group:
“So that you can hear how Jesus interacts with other people. To be encouraged that He is real and interacting with people. To help discount the discouragement that the world/enemy throws at us.
I couldn’t have said it better myself.
If you’re in a small group, what are some of the other benefits I didn’t mention above? Comment below…
by | Faith Lived Out, Life Application
If you’ve been following my blog for a bit then you know I have been talking about making a radical change.
I can’t get away from this verse:
But my life is worth nothing to me unless I use it for finishing the work assigned me by the Lord Jesus—the work of telling others the Good News about the wonderful grace of God. – Acts 20:24 NLT
My comfortable Christian life is quickly fading away and abandoning myself to follow Christ is right in front of my face.
David Platt’s book Radical: Taking Back Your Faith from the American Dream, has spoken more truth to me than I wanted to hear. But I’ve heard it. I can’t rewind. I can’t pretend his words didn’t affect me. I can’t act as though God’s not saying, “Get Ready!”
I recently talked about not being tied to my possessions. God smiled I’m sure. But then came the test. Will I really do what I have said? The above picture is a large portion of my possesions that have been setting in a storage shed. Here are just a few things in this pile:
- Books I’ve never read
- An Ebay Dolly Parton collection that I would be too embarrased to tell you the cost of
- A collection of Loretta Lynn coasters from the 1970’s
- A television
- An electric guitar I haven’t touched in two years
Does taking up our cross and following Jesus mean we have to get rid of everything? Not necessarily. I think it depends on where our heart is. But these possessions no longer mean what they once did. Some I have given away. Some I am selling.
I’m preparing to take part in the Radical Experiment, which I will be blogging about soon. I’m hoping you’ll be praying about doing it with me.Let’s get radical! No more waiting.
What do you need to get rid of? Comment below…
