For the last several years I’ve picked one word to define my year. From rest to warfare, it’s been an important part of my life.
This year I’m changing things up a bit. This time the Lord has put a phrase on my heart. I’m sharing it via video this time.
I remember the Lord asking me once if I was willing to look foolish for Him. I hesitantly said “yes.” Here’s a piece of advice for you. Never hesitantly say “yes” to God and not expect Him to test you on it. Rookie move.
One day several months ago I saw something on Facebook about a statue being removed from the Missouri State Capitol building for updates. Ceres – that’s the name. Since I was a little girl I’ve always assumed that statue was Thomas Jefferson. Boy, was I surprised. My lack of knowledge in my state’s history was a little disappointing to me, so I wanted to do better.
I looked up the name and immediately learned what she stood for. Ceres is the goddess of of agriculture, grain crops, fertility and motherly relationships. My heart was deeply saddened for many reasons.
In 2001 I graduated high school. Right before my graduation, my dad called to ask if he could come.
I told him absolutely not, with a few other choice words. I was a 17-year old kid with a broken heart, overcome with feelings of abandonment and rejection.
I reminded him he was not my father and I hung up the phone.
He respected my wishes and didn’t show up at my graduation. I remember looking up multiple times to see if he was there. I thought maybe it would be the one boundary in my life he would actually cross that I would be okay with. Nope. He respected it.
Let me preface this prayer with this. I’m not interested in your judgment or ridicule as to why I’m publicly praying for John Crist and not the brave women who came forward. I’m not interested in a debate. I’m simply being obedient to what the Lord is calling me to do and remember that you have no idea what I’m praying behind closed doors. Thank you.
In light of yesterday’s tragic news, my prayer…
Lord, I put John in your hands. You long to deliver your children out of the ashes and John is in the ashes. Pull him out. Restore him to wholeness. Not because he deserves it, but because you love him. None of us deserve to be pulled out of the ashes.
Sometimes there are things we go through that the world may never know about. Then there are those things we go through that once we heal, God says, “share with someone else who needs some comfort.” This is one of those times.
I remember closing the door after our second date and looking at my dog Baby and saying, “I’m gonna marry that man!” Someone must have poisoned my taco salad. Those were not words that came out of my mouth that easily. It must have been indigestion causing me to hallucinate. How could a person possibly say that after a second date? Especially a person like me whose walls were guarded like Fort Knox when it came to allowing myself to be vulnerable with men.
Instead of fighting it, though, I just decided to embrace it, scared out of my wits. I teach other people to do it afraid. I suppose that now was the perfect time to practice what I preached.
Strange question to ask, I know. But… if you know me at all, well… it’s not really that strange.
I was walking through my Abide devotional and the voice behind the app asked me to visualize Jesus sitting next to me. So, I moved my feet off the footstool and asked Jesus to sit in front of me so we could have coffee together. I was picturing his laughter. His joy. And that’s when the thought popped into my head….
I bet Jesus made poop jokes.