by | Faith Lived Out
The words of Brandon Heath’s “I’m not who I was” is rolling around in my head.
This weekend I was reminded by an old friend whom I haven’t seen in years about some things of my past – some not so great things. He brought memories back to me that I wasn’t proud of. Flashbacks filled my mind as I read his words to me. As he laughed about those memories, my heart broke and I started to let shame fill my soul.
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by | Faith Lived Out, Life Application
photo credit: gamecola.net
My pastor spoke those words in a sermon several weeks ago, but I haven’t been able to forget about them. Good huh? That’s supposed to be the point of a sermon – that we walk away remembering.
Well, not only did I remember his words, God recently put me to the test. He’s good like that.
I started college again a few weeks ago and I’m trying to get back into the routine. Algebra is my weakest link. Ask me to write a paper and I can do that. Ask me to factor a Polynomial and I become cross-eyed.
I can be a pretty outgoing person. I like to meet new people. I enjoy new conversations. But… not when I’m sitting in my Algebra class. I want my 100% focus on the teacher and the lesson. I don’t have time to spare. Let me rephrase that. I don’t have the extra brain power to spare. The last thing on my mind is making new friends.
Last week I walked in and smiled at the girl sitting next to me. I got my books out, sat my bottled water on the desk, got my pencil out and waited. I was trying me best to keep math the only thing on my mind. Then, I felt God nudging me to tell her hello. So I did. I quickly looked at her, smiled, again, and said “hello.” She said it back and I was one. I did my part.
Could we please get to Algebra now?
Two days later it was time for class again. I walked in with the same routine. There she was. I smiled and went about my business. God nudged me again to tell her hello. So I did. But then He prompted me to ask her how she was.
He was taking this conversation thing too far.
I avoided Him.
Ask her how she’s doing?
Again, I avoided.
Then He spoke clear as day to me as the words of my pastor rang in my ear.
Delayed Obedience is Disobedience….
Ouch.
At that point Algebra didn’t matter anymore. I was convicted of putting material things before relationships. I closed my book and began to have a conversation with her. We talked a bit and I said, “I’m sorry. I didn’t get your name.” We visited a little longer before class started. Thirty minutes later I was explaining a question on an assignment to her.
I’m not sure what God has in store, but I am now eager to find out. Perhaps I’m going to start by remembering her name. Have I mentioned that’s a weakness too?
What are you putting off until tomorrow that needs to be done today?
by | Faith Lived Out
photo credit: IABoomerFlickr (creative commons)
I’m tough. The walls around my heart are so thick you need a bulldozer to break through. I don’t need you. I don’t want your hugs. I’m doing fine on my own.
What a scary place to be in. I used to be there. I used to wake up day after day with those messages written on my heart. They were all lies.
The truth?
I was a scared little girl inside of those walls begging for someone to help me. I was so desperate for someone to reach out to me, but at the same time I was too afraid to let them in. They would hurt me, just as everyone else in my life had. I couldn’t take the risk of letting one more person get close to my heart.
I’m guest posting over at Relevant Brokeness today. Come over here to read the rest of the post.
by | Faith Lived Out, Life Application
photo credit: flickr (creative commons)
As I continue to grow in leadership, the more I realize my actions are being watched from every angle. But most importantly, regardless of who is watching me, I always know God is.
Stepping into a role of leadership means that expectations are higher. It is up to me to set a good example for those around me. No pressure..
I don’t always do it right.
I recently attended a ball game with some friends. I decided to pack a bag of Cheerios to bring with me in case I wanted a snack later. When I got to the ball park my friends let me know I would have to hide the cereal because it wasn’t allowed past the gates. I didn’t realize that. So, without thinking I stuck the Ziploc bag in the pocket of my shorts and walked through with my ticket.
Those around seemed ok with it. But I wasn’t. I was doing something wrong and I knew it.
Later as others around me munched on ice cream and funnel cakes, I got my Cheerios out and snacked away. But with every bite I took, the guilt ate at me even more. I was breaking the rules.
It reads in Romans 13:5:
Therefore, it is necessary to submit to the authorities, not only because of possible punishment but also because of conscience.
You may be saying to yourself, “You only brought in Cheerios. It’s not like you stole anything. It’s not that big of a deal.”
Wrong…
It is a big deal. The rules clearly stated that no outside food or drink was allowed. Yet I did it anyway. I not only chose to disobey ballpark rules, I disobeyed God.
As I sat later and thought about it, I found myself asking forgiveness for not only being disobedient, but proving a horrible example for my peers around me.
What did that say about my character?
I hate to disappoint, but this goes for the movie theater too. Sneaking in that can of soda and bag of chips should be something you reconsider.
Question…
If someone is willing to sneak a bag of cereal into a ball park when it’s against the rules, will the next step be cheating on their taxes?
God sees all. Not just some. All.
I would love to know your thoughts on this. What other examples can you give regarding this situation? Comment below…
by | Faith Lived Out
photo credit: mustard seeds
Life seems to be a battle. Wouldn’t you agree?
We battle to do the best we can each day. We battle trying to please others. We battle trying to be a good wife, or a good mother. We battle trying to climb to the top at our corporate jobs. We battle to walk as Christ would want us to walk.
As God continues to grow me as a leader, I realize I will always be in a battle. As long as I follow Jesus’ ways, not only am I battling the world, I’m in a spiritual battle that sometimes never seems to slow down.
I’m okay with that.
I love the encouragement I receive from my readers and supporters. Sometimes a person doesn’t realize how much they need encouragement until they receive it.
I recently ran across a song that brought tears to my eyes.
Lately I’ve been winning battles left and right
But even winners can get wounded in the fight
People say that I’m amazing
Strong beyond my years
But they don’t see inside of me
I’m hiding all the tears
They don’t know that I go running home when I fall down
They don’t know who picks me up when no one is around
I drop my sword and cry for just a while
‘Cause deep inside this armor
The warrior is a child
I am winning battles left and right. And I will continue to be determined not to let the devil deter me from God’s purpose for me. I’d be lying if I said it wasn’t hard and there are days I’m not sure I can make it. But as long as I keep running home when I fall down I know my Father will pick me up, shake off the dust, and send me on my again.
I may be a leader. I may be a warrior. I may have a strong personality. I may be a conqueror.
But…
At the end of each day I want to fall asleep like a child in the arms of her Father. Though my armor still remains, inside is a little girl clinging to her Spiritual Daddy with all her might. The moment I stop doing that my battles will end in defeat.
Listen to the words of this song. I pray it touches your heart as it has mine.
I couldn’t get the video to upload for some reason, but you can view it here:
Warrior Is A Child
by | Faith Lived Out, Life Application
A couple weeks ago I received some exciting news. Out of hundreds of people, I was one of few selected to attend the Catalyst Conference in Atlanta, GA.
What is the Catalyst Conference?
Catalyst is a powerful gathering of young leaders, a movement of influencers and world changers who love Jesus, see things differently, and want to do better.
God has designed me to be a leader, and this opportunity will not only continue to mold me into that leader, it will allow me the chance to learn from others.
Some of the lineup includes:
- Michael Hyatt, Chairman of the Board, Thomas Nelson Publishers
- Francis Chan, Author of Crazy Love
- Andy Stanley, Lead Pastor at North Point Community Church
- Marc Driscoll, Pastor of Mars Hill Church
- Priscilla Shirer, Founder of Going Beyond Ministries and Bible Teacher
- David Platt, Pastor of the Church at Brookhills and author of Radical
Is that amazing or what?
I have no doubt that I will walk away from this conference changed.
But.. I Need Your Help
The conference takes place in Atlanta, GA, October 5-7th. Airfare and hotel accomodations can be pricy. In order to make the trip I must come up with $807.65.
As soon as I received the great news via phone call I started imagining the amazing things that would come out of this three-day event. I will be networking with people from all over the world. I will have the opportunity to share parts of my story and what God has done in my life. I will have the chance to tell others about what an amazing organization the Table Rock Freedom Center is. But most importantly, I saw myself being changed by the truth of others I might have never met if it wasn’t for the opportunity to attend this conference.
Would you consider donating today to help me with the expenses of getting to the conference and back?
If you can’t provide a financial donation, I would appreciate your prayer support just as much, if not more. Prayers for preparing for the trip, getting everything in order, for God to put the right people in my path in Atlanta, and safety.
If you wish to donate online, you can do so here on my Facebook page through the FundRazr Facebook application.
If you wish to mail payment, you can send to:
Sundi Jo Graham
PO Box 1438
Hollister, MO 65673
Thank you for your consideration.
Have you attend the Catalyst Conference? What impact did it have on you? Comment below…
