by | Faith Lived Out
My mom got some film developed a few weeks ago. Unfortunately, it cost a small fortune, and the company ripped her off.
But… there she sat with a pile of pictures from who knows what, when, and where, ready to be sorted through. She may not realize it, but it was worth every cent.
When I sat down to go through them, this picture was the first I saw. I couldn’t hold back the tears.
I only have one picture of my dad and me as adults. It was the day I picked him up from prison. I’ve longed so much to have captured some of the good memories we made together before he died. But, until now, I’ve only had them in my heart.
This picture was a good day. We were happy. Smiling. For a moment, addiction wasn’t destroying either one of us. We were just capturing the moments around us and enjoying life, which really is like a vapor, gone before you know it.
It wouldn’t be long after this picture was taken that he took his last breath before walking into the arms of Jesus. Not long before the smile would disappear and I was left with the broken pieces of what addiction stole from me – stole from us.
February 24, 2009. He was gone just like that. Only hours after planning a weekend trip together. Only hours after leaving a voicemail saying he loved me. I would trade in my most prized possessions to hear his voice say those three words.
Better yet, I would give anything to just sit with him and talk and laugh. To hear his redneck laugh. To tell him he has to stop cooking friend bologna and egg sandwiches because I’m trying to lose weight.
But I can’t do any of that because addiction stole those moments.
But God… Let me tell you what addiction didn’t steal. It didn’t steal his salvation because I sat at his bedside two months before he died, held his hand, and led him to Jesus. The enemy thought he had the last laugh, but he was wrong.
And oh, how he would find the humor in the fact that he went back to prison, just in a different way. You see, his story, my story, our story, has been shared with hundreds of men and women in prison, choosing brokenness instead of the freedom God longs for them to have.
I’ve seen grown men with tattoos from the top of their heads to the bottom of their feet weep when I share the desperation of an adult woman whose heart breaks like a little girl longing for her dad’s love. And I’ve seen hope restored in their hardened eyes when they realize that it’s not too late for them to restore what the enemy has tried to steal. Why? Because they’ve still got breath in their lungs.
This picture represents two people who were so broken in their own ways. Neither of us knew how to cope with life healthily. Neither of us knew how to communicate appropriately. But amid our brokenness, we loved each other, even if we couldn’t figure out how to express it right.
Addiction sucks. I shouldn’t have to write this post today. But I am because addiction is a harsh reality.
But let me tell you what else is a reality. God can restore what the locusts have eaten. (Joel 2:22) He set me free. He’s still setting me free. He’s still writing my story; my dad will always be weaved in and out of it.
He didn’t experience freedom on this side of heaven, and I wish he could have. But he is undoubtedly experiencing it now on the other side because he chose Jesus, even if he only got to experience a tiny glimpse of a relationship with Him before he prematurely left this world. But now he spends eternity with God. Just wow!
And one day… we will dance together. And laugh together. And perhaps eat bologna and egg sandwiches that have zero calories.
Don’t wait to choose Jesus until the end of your life, as my dad did. You’re missing out on so much. Don’t wait to choose freedom. Don’t wait to seek help for that addiction that’s controlling your life. Don’t wait to believe that today can be the day you stop living stuck in that brokenness and fear. Today can be the day you choose life if you want it.
God is waiting for you, my friend.
by | Faith Lived Out
Twenty-nine years ago yesterday, my and my mom’s lives were forever changed in the blink of an eye.
I was just a 10-year-old kid who was told I’d probably never walk again. But I don’t think the heart and mind of a child that age can fully comprehend what “never” means.
We all have a destiny, a purpose God has designed us for. And the enemy would love nothing more than to destroy us and keep us from fulfilling our God-given destiny.
The enemy almost destroyed us that day. My mom clung to life for a moment, wondering if the next breath would be her last. And me, well, they pulled my body out of the car with my legs wrapped around my head like an acrobat. It’s the only time in my life I had the talent enough to be a contortionist. You can see the full pictures here…
But God… Jehovah Rapha!
We both lived to tell about it, and I’m walking proof of God’s awesomeness!
As I was looking through these pictures yesterday, I had to stop for a moment and tell God I was sorry that I’d gotten off track so many times in living out the life He’d called me to. I repented for giving up on my dreams so many times – the dreams He’d put in my heart.
And then I thanked Him for being the God of second chances. I deserve nothing that He blesses me with, yet He tells me in His Word that He longs to bless me. Sometimes I just can’t wrap my mind around it.
Friend, if you’ve given up on your dream, today is the day to get back up and take the next right step. Ask God to take your hand and walk with you. He will because that’s who He is.
Maybe you feel like you’re so far gone that you don’t even know what your purpose is. God knows. Ask Him to remind you, then ask Him to walk with you as you get there. He will because that’s who He is.
Maybe your life feels like what our car looked like – a total disaster. But it doesn’t have to stay that way, my friend. There is hope. God can pull you out of the wreckage and make you walk again. That’s who He is.
Cling to Him like your life depends on it because your life depends on it.
I’m praying for an awakening in your soul, my friend. I’m praying that spark gets re-ignited. Don’t give up on yourself. Don’t give up on God. He hasn’t given up on you.
You. Are. Valuable.
P.S. I have forgiven my parents for allowing me to have a mullet.
by | Faith Lived Out
I was a huge fan of Country Weekly magazine when I was a kid, somewhere around 12 or 13. My mom gifted me with a yearly subscription, and I couldn’t wait for the mail to see if I’d gotten my new edition yet.
I would read it cover to cover and dream about meeting the singers, writing songs like them, and even singing like them.
But then I started doing something else…
I would rip out my favorite pages and tape them to my bedroom wall. My friend Holly thought I had lost my mind, but I didn’t care. I’d add to my collection week after week, and it was only a short time before Country Weekly became my wallpaper. I wish I had pictures to show you.
I never really understood then why I did that. It was just something I wanted to do. But looking back on that time in my life, I know why. I wanted to be surrounded by music. It was my safe space. Music was a world I could escape to when reality was too much to bear. Music invited me to dream about possibilities. It reminded me that if the people in those pictures could chase their dreams, why couldn’t I?
I wish I could say I stayed inspired to keep moving in that direction, but a lot of life happened, and frankly, I wouldn’t get out of my own way to pursue my dreams. Instead, I either found a way to sabotage them or put them on hold to pursue other avenues of life.
But when God puts a dream in your heart, you might put the fire out, but I think He keeps an ember lit to remind you that it’s still there.
I’ve wanted to be a songwriter since I wrote my first poem in the 6th grade. And in 2020, as I sat at home with the rest of the world wondering what was happening, I decided I could keep dreaming about doing it or make it happen. I chose the latter.
God has honored my willingness to step forward and put action behind my dreams. I haven’t gotten a cut yet, but I’m so so close. Man, it’s exciting!
But here’s the thing… as we step out in faith to combine our talents with our calling, sometimes God says, “But wait… there’s more!” I wasn’t expecting that, but here we are.
I never thought I could sing. I hated the sound of my voice. Let me rephrase that. I still do. I always assumed I sounded like a monkey trying to play the clarinet.
Did I dream about being behind a microphone entertaining a crowd with music? You bet! Me and my hairbrush have sung our hearts out to audiences of all kinds. But beyond the occasional leading worship at my former church or singing some songs I wrote for a few people, I didn’t see it as a possibility.
But God…
Over the last year, He started dropping nuggets from various people in my life, who would tell me that I had a “unique” voice and should actually do something with it. I just assumed them saying “unique” meant they were trying to be nice without coming right out and telling me I sucked.
But I kept hearing the same thing repeatedly from different people. “You really have a unique voice.” “You should consider recording some of your own stuff.” “If you sang that song in a writer’s round, I would be there to hear it.”
I started to scratch my head at their words, especially because it wasn’t my mom saying it. You know, everyone’s mom thinks they sound amazing!
And then I started to let fear and comparison put me in the corner, wanting to suck my thumb. My friend Carolyn can sing. That’s not me. This is crazy! Who would want to hear me? I’m a songwriter, not a singer. I need to stay in my lane. (Insert a million different lies from the enemy here.)
But the Lord showed me one night this past Summer that it was time to stop living afraid. He woke me up, told me what song He wanted me to start with, and even gave me an idea for the single cover. I promised to talk about it with Him if He’d let me go back to bed.
Frankly, I’m still talking to Him about it; rather, trying to talk Him out of it, but He hasn’t budged yet.
Why am I so afraid? I ask myself that a lot. Because singing my own stuff creates a new level of vulnerability that I’d rather keep tucked away in my bathroom drawer with the hair brush. Doing something like this opens up opportunities for new levels of rejection. And what if people think I actually sound like a monkey playing the clarinet?
At the end of the day, I answer those questions with this… Isn’t it worth the risk?
Ahh… I sure hope so!
So, I’m doing it afraid, and I’m going to try my hand at sharing my unique voice with the world through the power of music – the thing that has covered not only the walls of my bedroom but also the walls of my heart since I was a little girl.
I was in the studio recently recording my first single, which I’m excited to tell you about very soon. There’s no turning back now. Now I hear Cher in my head singing, ‘If I could turn back time!'”
I’m excited for you to be on this journey with me, friend. Mind praying as I keep moving forward into uncharted territory. To say that I’m doing it afraid is an understatement.
Stay tuned for more details as they unfold.
Here’s to chasing the dreams God has put in our hearts!
by | Faith Lived Out, Life Application
Yesterday was a sad day for America. It was a sad day for the Church. Yesterday was a sad day for unbelievers when they saw the hearts of many in the Church.
Before I go any further, let me say this… I do not support the Biden Administration’s release and negotiation tactics they so eagerly announced to the world yesterday. As a matter of fact, I’m yet to find one decision they’ve made that I can stand behind.
Is that because they’re Democrats? No. It’s because they are men and women who claim to know God and yet make decisions that spit in His face. Don’t worry; the Republicans are doing it too. I’ll get to that in a minute. Back to yesterday being a sad day.
My Facebook and Twitter feeds were filled with diverse people from all walks of life joining in on the conversation regarding “The Swap.” Have I mentioned it was sad?
I saw Christians, who’d only 24 hours prior shared Scriptures about love, followed by “Let’s save the WNBA druggie!” I saw disgraceful tweets from preachers who, only four days earlier, were inviting “those looking for a place to belong” to come to church. For time’s sake, you get the point.
I have to wonder how many of us were actually willing to get on our knees and cry out to God about what had just taken place. I wonder if it crossed our minds to repent for the sins of our leadership and ask God for mercy. What would’ve happened if we had started praying for that marine to get set free instead of cussing out Biden on Facebook?
Yesterday was a sad day.
Are you ready to take back your identity, tell the devil to go fly a kite, and learn who you really are in Christ? Download my free Who I Am in Christ pdf today and start speaking the truth over yourself. Reclaim your true identity and start living the life God designed for you!
But it gets even sadder. Because while Facebook was blowing up with hate, the “Respect for Marriage Act” was being voted on by Congress. Voted for by both Democrats and Republicans. Of course, they dressed it up to look pretty, but it was a devastating blow for Christians in the natural and spiritual worlds.
This nation stopped being led by Republicans vs. Democrats a long time ago. We still manage to divide it by those titles, but it means nothing. Both sides have thrown their moral compasses aside. It’s not about standing for one thing or another anymore (for the majority). No, it’s about figuring out what party you get on to make sure you win.
To make sure they win because it’s not about representing the people anymore. It’s about winning. It’s about power. It has been for a long time, but now it’s just in plain sight.
The bill’s title is a slap in the face to God because America has lost respect for a merciful God who has blessed a nation with the ability and resources to go out and love the world well.
Instead, we hate our neighbors and use our Facebook feeds as a platform to rant. And instead of interceding and repenting for the destruction we’ve caused by being passive when the Constitution is lit on fire right in front of us, the Church grabs a can of gasoline and a match and says, “I’m here for the party!”
What would happen if unbelievers actually read the things we posted on Facebook and said, “Wow, that makes me want to know more about Jesus?”
What would happen if we prayed together? What would happen if we fasted together? What would happen if we truly got on our knees as the body of Christ and repented for the destruction we’ve caused?
Miracles. Outpourings of Holy Spirit that make the day of Pentecost look like a snoozefest. People fall in love with Jesus because the Church looks like what it’s supposed to look like.
We can be angry about the decisions taking place. But let’s do something productive with that anger, my friends.
Lord, forgive me for not doing better. Clean out the dark corners of my condemning heart. Let my prayers be enough to turn the hearts of a nation. Give me a repentant heart like Daniel. Sharpen my spiritual sword to take down the giants like David. Give me the boldness of Esther. Give me a heart of humility like Jesus.
by | Faith Lived Out, Life Application
If I could go back and talk to the 17-year-old girl in this picture, there’s so much I would say.
I’d tell her that she didn’t have to pretend to be so tough.
I’d tell her that all the secrets of her past didn’t define her.
I’d tell her that sweater vests were cool, despite what others said.
I’d tell her that the shame she was carrying could be gone if she’d only let it go.
Are you ready to take back your identity, tell the devil to go fly a kite, and learn who you really are in Christ? Download my free Who I Am in Christ pdf today and start speaking the truth over yourself. Reclaim your true identity and start living the life God designed for you!
I’d tell her how much Jesus loved her, and how much He longed to set her free.
I’d tell her that she mattered and that her life was worth living.
Those are just a few of the things I’d tell her. And I want to tell you those things today, too. You matter. God has plans for your life, despite what the enemy is telling you.
Lean into Papa. He has so much love for you. He has such BIG plans for your future.
You. Are. Valuable.
by | Faith Lived Out, Spiritual Warfare
This prayer was taken from Give Him 15 with Dutch Sheets. You can read the full post here…
Our Prayer:
Father, we thank You for Your mercy. In order to awaken us, You have turned us over to our own desires and incredibly foolish ways. Truth no longer matters, integrity matters even less, and evil is celebrated. America has sown the wind and is now reaping the whirlwind. We are lost, very lost. We have watched the demise of greatness in one generation.
And yet. In Your mercy, You are coming to save us. The heavens are being rent, deception is being removed, evil is being exposed, and our hearts are being lanced. We stand before You with nothing other than the blood of Jesus Christ.
Are you ready to take back your identity, tell the devil to go fly a kite, and learn who you really are in Christ? Download my free Who I Am in Christ pdf today and start speaking the truth over yourself. Reclaim your true identity and start living the life God designed for you!
Our faith is that this blood cleanses us from ALL sin and unrighteousness. Send a movement now to accomplish this, we pray. Let it be spiritual power at levels never before seen. Come with overwhelming force and love, lift the veil of darkness, and restore us.
Give great victories for the cause of life in our elections this day. Give great victory for truth, decency, and righteousness. Further the complete turning of our government. Let the exposing continue, even while our deliverance takes place. Spare us from ourselves and rescue us from sin. We pray these things in the incomparable name of Jesus. Amen.
Our Decree:
We decree that America shall be saved, and the billion-plus harvest of people around the world will not be stopped.
