What Thailand and My Mother’s Gray Hair Have in Common

by | Faith Lived Out

I’m an only child. Sometimes that stinks, but I’m starting to wonder if it’s worse for my mother than it is for me. That poor woman is constantly having to talk to God about her worry over me.

I’ve never been the “average” gal. As a little girl, I didn’t dream about growing up and getting married and having kids. I was too busy making plans to save the world. I think she thought I would grow out of it, but I don’t think it’s going to happen. Yes, I’m currently accepting applications for a husband, but I’m still out to save the world. Sometimes thinking I have to fight off all the bad guys can get me into trouble and Mom dyes her hair to hide the gray I’ve caused.

So… when I told her I wanted to go to Thailand to share the Gospel with women who’ve been trafficked into the sex industry, love on orphans, and hang out with peeps in the drug rehab center, she called to make an appointment with her hair stylist before the gray started showing again.

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The Forgiveness Box (Letting Go of the Lies)

by | Faith Lived Out

On March 17, 2018, I wrote this vulnerable piece as part of my healing journey and shared it with some close friends. I wasn’t sure if I’d share it with the public, but I’ve decided to do so with the hopes it will inspire you to choose forgiveness, too, even when you don’t feel like it.

I sat in her office on my birthday, broken. Trying to comprehend the shattered pieces of a broken ministry, broken friendships, and a broken soul. It was going to take a vice grip to force me to smile. I felt incapable of hope.

She was gluing stickers to a box she’d made when I arrived. My counselor – a woman who I’d been baring my soul to for over a year. A grace-filled prayer warrior who knew the depths of my aches and loved me through it. A beautiful representation of the mercy we all crave whether we know it or not.

“It’s a forgiveness box,” she said. “I’m not sure what I’m going to use it for, but I felt led to make one.” Every side was covered with a quote on that word. That word I didn’t know if I could muster up. The word God was writing on my heart. Forgive as you have been forgiven.

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I Need You: Join the Dear Dad Launch Team

by | Faith Lived Out

In 2012, I put some of the most vulnerable words ever written in a book for the world to read, when I released my memoir, Dear Dad, Did You Know I Was a Princess? 

It’s so humbling to see how God used my mess and my redemption to inspire others to allow Him to heal the deepest parts of their brokenness.

Last year my publisher closed it’s doors and there I was… without any copies of the book. So… I decided to do something about it.

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Why I Quit Blogging

by | Faith Lived Out

I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but I stopped blogging for a while. A long while, actually.

That doesn’t mean I’ve stopped writing, but I’ve been in a season of life where my writing became personal – just a place for me and God, and sometimes a few close friends. A place in life where I have poured my heart out to Abba – all the ugly and all the beautiful.

The last 9 months of life have been indescribable, heartbreaking, hopeful, healing, miserable, joy-filled, and redemptive. Someday I will talk about it all when the time is right and God gives me the green light.

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A Deeper Look at Loneliness

by | Faith Lived Out

Loneliness. There are so many different layers. You can be in a crowd full of people and walk away empty, like you’re completely alone.

There’s the loneliness of feeling like you just don’t belong, no matter where you are or who you’re around.

There’s the loneliness of feeling misunderstood all of your life, wishing people could just look inside your heart for a minute and see the person you really are, the person you want to be.

The loneliness of hurting when other people hurt, crying for them, interceding, and wishing you could make their hurt go away, trying not to always fix the problem because you’re a fixer.
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