by | Faith Lived Out
On March 17, 2018, I wrote this vulnerable piece as part of my healing journey and shared it with some close friends. I wasn’t sure if I’d share it with the public, but I’ve decided to do so with the hopes it will inspire you to choose forgiveness, too, even when you don’t feel like it.
I sat in her office on my birthday, broken. Trying to comprehend the shattered pieces of a broken ministry, broken friendships, and a broken soul. It was going to take a vice grip to force me to smile. I felt incapable of hope.
She was gluing stickers to a box she’d made when I arrived. My counselor – a woman who I’d been baring my soul to for over a year. A grace-filled prayer warrior who knew the depths of my aches and loved me through it. A beautiful representation of the mercy we all crave whether we know it or not.
“It’s a forgiveness box,” she said. “I’m not sure what I’m going to use it for, but I felt led to make one.” Every side was covered with a quote on that word. That word I didn’t know if I could muster up. The word God was writing on my heart. Forgive as you have been forgiven.
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by | Faith Lived Out
In 2012, I put some of the most vulnerable words ever written in a book for the world to read, when I released my memoir, Dear Dad, Did You Know I Was a Princess?
It’s so humbling to see how God used my mess and my redemption to inspire others to allow Him to heal the deepest parts of their brokenness.
Last year my publisher closed it’s doors and there I was… without any copies of the book. So… I decided to do something about it.
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by | Faith Lived Out
I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but I stopped blogging for a while. A long while, actually.
That doesn’t mean I’ve stopped writing, but I’ve been in a season of life where my writing became personal – just a place for me and God, and sometimes a few close friends. A place in life where I have poured my heart out to Abba – all the ugly and all the beautiful.
The last 9 months of life have been indescribable, heartbreaking, hopeful, healing, miserable, joy-filled, and redemptive. Someday I will talk about it all when the time is right and God gives me the green light.
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by | Faith Lived Out, Sundi Jo's Songs
Paul said, “I don’t really understand myself, for I want to do what is right, but I don’t do it. Instead, I do what I hate.”
Guilty! Why do refuse the hand of Christ when we’re in the midst of darkness? Our hearts cry out for Jesus but our minds tell us no.
We know right from wrong. We know truth from lies. Yet we choose darkness.
Because we’re in a battle.
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by | Faith Lived Out
Loneliness. There are so many different layers. You can be in a crowd full of people and walk away empty, like you’re completely alone.
There’s the loneliness of feeling like you just don’t belong, no matter where you are or who you’re around.
There’s the loneliness of feeling misunderstood all of your life, wishing people could just look inside your heart for a minute and see the person you really are, the person you want to be.
The loneliness of hurting when other people hurt, crying for them, interceding, and wishing you could make their hurt go away, trying not to always fix the problem because you’re a fixer.
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by | Faith Lived Out
This is a guest post by Kristin L. Hanley. Kristin is a homeschool mom, an adjunct professor, and a Bible study leader. Her book, Navigating a Sea of Emotions was released in January. To learn more about Kristin, visit her blog. Kristin and her family live near Branson, Missouri.
My lungs panic, pumping faster than they should while still unable to fully expand. In similar fashion, my heart contributes the backbeat in rapid succession. I close my eyes and cross my arms over my chest, willing myself to calm down. Despite what my brain is trying to communicate, my body doesn’t comply. I’m having another panic attack.
Despite numerous pleas with God, relaxing practices, and even a hot bath, my body still won’t release its anxious grip over me, and I want to scream. Maybe doing so would help me.
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