When life gets hard we want to quit. Our feelings of defeat are normal. It’s okay to feel them, but it’s not always okay to follow through with those feelings.
Meet my friends Amanda and Joey, and their amazing sons. I grew up with them. We laughed together. We cried together. We ate lunch together almost everyday in high school. Joey frequently bought me hot pretzels from the cafeteria ala carte menu.
They’re happy in this picture. Truly happy and full of joy. But life wasn’t always like that.
A Deep Secret Revealed.
High school sweethearts, Joey and Amanda loved each other. It was obvious from the moment they started dating. Joey would loudly profess his love strolling down the hallway between classes. They found out they were having a baby our Senior year (2001), and though it wasn’t their ideal situation, they knew they had to grow up quickly and raise their sweet baby boy.
There was a deep secret lingering in the shadows, though. Joey was on drugs. It was no longer teenagers trying to finish high school. It was real life.
You can imagine the various opinions and pieces of advise people were quickly willing to give Amanda. “Leave him. Raise this baby on your own. You’re young and still have so much life to live.”
But she didn’t. She loved Joey. She married him. She chose to love him enough to walk through an addiction with him – the good, the bad, and the really ugly. The really, really ugly.
When we choose to fight for the ones we love.
Divorce is as common today as taking out the trash. If it doesn’t work with your mate, just move on and find somebody else. I can say, had I been in Amanda’s shoes, I probably would’ve ran the other way. But she didn’t.
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She chose to stay and fight. As his addiction got worse, so did her fight to love her husband through the dark times, and be a mother to her children. Her fight paid off.
The world thought she was crazy. I’ll admit, sometimes I did too, but there was something about her perseverance that made me want to support her decision to stay by his side. Perhaps because I know what it’s like to have people give up on you. Because I know the control addiction can have on you.
In 2004, Joey entered rehab. Everything wasn’t perfect after that. He relapsed. Then again. And perhaps a few more times. What I love about this story, though, about all of our stories, is God never stops pursuing us. No matter how many times we screw up.
God waits for us.
In 2005, Joey and Amanda walked through the doors of Bland Christian Church. Amanda said, “We felt instantly at home and overwhelmed with a desire to know Christ.
Within a month, they were both living their lives for Christ and Joey was finally set free from his addiction. Amanda’s waiting on her husband to be the man she knew he was destined to be, paid off. She didn’t look at Joey and see a drug addict. She saw a man she loved. The father of her children. A child of God struggling to find freedom.
Just as Amanda waited for Joey, God waits for us. He doesn’t give up when times get hard. He pushes through with us. He desires to push through with you, my friend, whatever the circumstances.
10 years later, three growing boys later, and a youth group of teens being led by a couple on fire for the Lord, the Butlers are a beautiful picture of God’s grace.
I am so proud to call these two friends. I’m even more excited to know they are my brother and sister in Christ.
Are you struggling today? Feel like there is no hope for you? Whiskey isn’t your answer. Drugs aren’t your answer. Pornography isn’t. Men aren’t your answer. Food isn’t the answer. Jesus is.
There is hope for you, just as there was for Joey and Amanda. Reach for Jesus. Reach for an “Amanda,” who will walk through this fight with you.
You are loved. You are chosen. By a God who longs for you to know how much He cares for you.