Dear Class of 2020,
I’m sorry. I won’t even pretend to say I understand, because I have no idea what you’re going through.
Something has been stripped away from you that has never before happened in history – that I’m aware of anyway.
Frankly, it sucks.
I sit this morning thinking about my own Senior year, which honestly, was the worst year of my life back then. I hated school and I almost quit. I was on a path to pursuing a degree in Journalism when my dreams were swept out from underneath me. If it weren’t for Mrs. Marlis King, I never would have graduated high school.
I didn’t know how to grieve back then. I didn’t understand how to process through the emotions of losing something so precious to me. I didn’t realize that it was okay to feel anything besides anger and bitterness.
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I spent many, many years holding onto grudges, bitterness, and unforgiveness, that frankly, I allowed to destroy more years of my life. Precious time I’ll never get back.
May I give you some advice as you walk in uncharted territory in this time in history?
Grieve this loss. Take the time to process through this and allow yourself to grieve this.
Do not just “suck it up” and move on because “there are far worse things happening in the world right now.” This has happened to YOU. It’s very real and it’s your current reality.
It is 100% okay for you to grieve the loss of many last memories.
Grieve the loss of your prom, your Senior pictures, and that last championship game you’ll never get to play.
Grieve hanging your boyfriend’s jacket up in your locker in the mornings before class.
Grieve the loss of sitting in the hallway each morning before class visiting with your friends.
Grieve that time you finished MAP testing early, jumped in Charles Buddemeyer’s truck with a bunch of classmates whose last name ended in A-G, made a run to the convenience store, rode around the park, then got the truck stuck in a clay pit and had to call for help because it caught on fire, and yet made it back to the school before the last bell ever rang. (Oh wait… wrong class.. I digress… )
Grieve the loss of planning your weekend in the lunchroom over square pizza.
Grieve the loss of never hearing another tardy bell again.
And grieve the loss of not sitting in a packed gymnasium, surrounded by your family and friends, watching a slideshow of the last 13 years of your life, then walking down the aisle to receive your diploma.
I don’t write this to morbidly remind you of all that you’ve lost, because I know the movie has already played in your head a thousand times.
I write this to say that it’s okay. It’s okay for you to sit in this for a minute. It’s okay for your heart to be broken. It’s okay for you to be angry. It’s okay for you to be in denial, asking yourself, “Is this all really happening right now?”
It’s okay, because the pain is real. And the “This freaking sucks” is real.
Don’t push it away. Don’t lock it up and move on. Grieve it. Feel it. Get mad about it. Sad about it. Whatever it is you need to feel about it.
And don’t be afraid to talk to someone about it. If you wanna process, I’m here. FYI: I keep a counselor on speed dial. We never stop needing someone to talk to.
May I say this, too? On the other side of this suckiness is something great. On the other side of your grief, even if you can’t see it right now, is something beautiful. I know because I’ve been there.
Just hold on, okay? Just hold on.
Sincerely,
Your friend from the Class of 2001
~ Sundi Jo